Last thread was locked and can be found in my signature.
W text me this morning saying her appointment isn't until Thursday.
the communication with her then went as follows:
M: Ok. That doesn't change anything for me tho W: What do you mean? M: It means I still meant what i said last nite W: Oh I'm sorry. I'm still half asleep M: I'm done playing this game. I don't deserve it. W: What game? M: The excuse game. I've reached my limit. W: I'm not making excuses i really am tired. I am sorry if i made you unhappy. M: It doesn't matter now. I can get on with my life. W: Fine Josh. If that's what you want i will leave you be. M: No u made the choice. u are not the victim. u are responsible for your actions and i will not allow myself to be jerked around. u can't even call to tell me this. M: I am accepting this is the life you want for yourself and i will give it to you. I just am not going to be a part of it.
I don't believe for a second her appointment is switched to thursday, as it's not one that is just switched like that, and her phone records do not indicate otherwise. After last nite thinking about things, i am accepting the situation and the ultimate finality i am placing on it. this is the only way i can move on and be over with it. I will not waver in my decision, as i am done having setbacks with my emotions. I cannot control her, but i will control what i do. i will deal with all the emotions i have as they come from now on, but i will not waver with what i said i will do.
Just be prepared for her to react to your resolve, and I don't mean "get angry." I mean, at some point, she's sure to ask her way back. And you'll have to decide then what you want to do about it, whether you even WANT her back, and if so, what conditions are placed upon it.
Oh, and she'll probably try to have sex with you as well within the next two weeks.
Geez now the gang from MLC is going to come over and rumble again.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
just got off the phone with W. she wants to take 2 days to think about what she wants and i agreed i'm going to be doing the same. we agreed no decision had to be reached that day. just both of us thinking and then talking about what we had thought about.
she asked me if i really want to be miserable with her being back if we agree to it, and i asked her if she really thought i was miserable with her? she said sometimes. i said i was never miserable i just obviously didn't express how i felt very well at the time.
taking a firm stand with her seems to have gotten the ball to gain momentum, which is what I needed. i can back off now and let her think about things. i believe i've handled the last 24hrs and the last week for the matter, very well with her, feel free to disagree with me lol. she has really started to open up and come around more. where we head next i'm lost on, but like i said before, i'm crossing that bridge when i get there.
Ask her for one full week. Tell her "I have some things I need to take care of, and some decisions to make."
i'm not arguing puppy, i just want to ask why? we agreed no decision has to be made on thurs
At the risk of speaking for Puppy. I think he wants you to own the deadline. She called the two day arrangement, you in control are telling her, "I have other things I am working on, we will proceed when I am ready."
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
W just left. she stayed 30 mins. not one bad thing happened, other then kissing her, which she initiated like 5 times. i don't feel any better or worse for her even stopping by. actually, it was really strange. not uncomfortable, but just strange i guess. it was like being with someone i didn't even know.
she said how much better i look and how much better the house looks now that she isn't here. she said she's scared to come back because of everything she sees that's changed. i said whether she ever decides that or not to come back, things aren't going to change for me.
she also left her chihuahua here and said she's coming back tomorrow. i don't really know how to feel about it i guess. really i'm indifferent to the whole situation. i'm not confused, but i don't know what to think either. maybe i'm just not thinking about it at all. it was all kinda meaningless to me.
she kept saying over and over how much she missed me. she said she felt anxious and nervous when we first sat down and began to talk. i let her know she wasn't going to be judged, criticized or attacked no matter what she had to say. that's when she began opening up.
i don't really have anything else to say then it went alright. i listened to everything she said, i mean really listened. the only questions i asked was how did she feel about things she was telling me. i would say i can understand that. if it became a bit uncomfortable for her, i didn't say anything.
like i said before, i don't feel any better or worse. just like it didn't really even happen. it's weird.
