Alright all, this is my new posting site. After "talking" with many of you, I've come back to the MLC forum. I started here, then went to WAS, then to Infidelity, then to Newcomers when I came back after I thought we were officially done and then we weren't......it's been a crazy crazy ride, and guess what? It's still NOT over!
November 2008, H drops his bomb that he wants to separate and moves in with a buddy, but is home on the weekends. He comes home one day and says he wants to date other people. I'm so shocked and scared, I actually agreed to it. (In hindsight I hate myself, but also realize, I had no options except to end it right then and there or agree.)
Later I see our phone bill. It's astronomical. I see he's calling a particular number a lot, and that same person is calling him.
EA confirmed with a coworker. For two weeks in January, things got really hot and and heavy with them where I know some kisses were exchanged in the dark corners at work. Odd as it sounds, OW would never hang out with him outside of work, except for a few times during work functions and all my friends who also work there said she ignored him or treated him like everyone else. But during that period in January, H goes to a lawyer for the first time. He gets bad news: with the economy the way it is and our debt, we can't get divorced! (Whoever thought I would be grateful for my debt???)
Third week in January....OW gets together with her new rich younger BF. She drops H like a bad habit. He comes homes distraught. We spend the next three weeks together, like a normal family, like he wants to reconcile.
Early February he comes home, weird. My suspicions are confirmed....OW is calling him again with "Not sure I like my BF". H gets hopeful, but instead in the long run, just gets his chain yanked this way and that way by OW until a couple of weekends ago......OW gets engaged!
Now, H has his own place. I can't confirm this, but my gut tells me that OW had convinced H that she was never going to marry BF. I can confirm that OW would tell all her coworkers (some I'm friends with) that she was getting engaged soon and that she had picked out the ring and BF was in the process of purchasing a house and will be putting her name on the deed. So H gets a place of his own, courtesy of Mommy and Daddy. In the meantime, OW says yes to her BF.
H has actually been making decent efforts toward our relationship for almost the last month.....like maybe he had his own suspicions that OW was lying to him about the pending engagement. It's very important to him that I also be convinced he got rid of her BEFORE she got engaged. So I've let him think I believe that, but I truly have my doubts. And this is something I will have to come to terms with or figure out if I can.
So at this point here's what I believe: He regrets all of this. He has even said I have trusted all the wrong people too much. He regrets this new apartment. More than anything I think he regrets making me out to be the worst person on earth, esp to his parents. His mother esp. wants to know why he's still hanging out with me if she got him this new place and if I'm so horrible and we fight so much.....??? And considering what she's been told by him, she's right. But things haven't been nearly as bad as they were told and we don't fight much at all anymore.....as a matter of fact not one fight in two weeks now. Some spats, but no fights and that's amazing for us, we're both hot headed.
So at this point, I'm doing the dance, letting him take the lead and waiting to see what happens. Oy Vey.
