Thanks guys. I had time to actually think last night. I now realize he was baiting me with the text and I gave in.
I woke up feeling a bit better emotionally. The last week has been really hard. H called this morning, saying he wanted to leave early and I said that was fine. H started on the separation, indicating he should move out since he's the "bad guy". I indicated I never said that. H went on to say that I've said he needs C, is in a MLC and having an affair. I just listened and didn't bite. H then said he volunteered for a job in FL last night. H said he can't stand being at his work anymore. Once again, I didn't say much, just listened. H is doing his best to push me away so I am going to try my best to detach (lovingly).
As far as the sex thing goes, I am not at the point I can say no, not til the IA/EA stops, so I have not. If I don't want to or feeling conflicted at the time he wants to, I just tell him so. Whether right or wrong, I am just not ready to close that door yet. If I get to the point I can no longer be with him, I will tell him so.
Me: 39 H: 39 S: 15 M: 18 years Bomb: 6/3/09 H moved out: 10/15/09 H moved back:5/30/10
How is it going? Thinking of you. Remember to ask yourself if what you are about to do/say is going to get you closer to your goal of saving/improving your M.
Hang tough -- hopefully this will be the toughest thing you will ever go through.
The funeral for BIL was really nice. His second oldest daughter gave the Eulogy, which was beautiful. His children are so strong.
Found out H is now texting OW (previously phone calls and Internet). Saw a few of them this morning. There are 'miss you' and 'can't wait to talk to you' and 'love the pics'. OW wrote "love to you and your family." Enough was enough this morning and I tried to call her. Her voice mail picked up. H was furious and said I just lost any chance of working it out. I plan on trying to call her again as I think she needs to know she is destroying a family and the effect her relationship with H is having on our child. Am I completely off the wall here? I know DR does not recommend contacting the OW but it feels like it's spiraling out of control.
Found out from SIL my S told her he has no respect for his father. H did not refrain from speaking on the phone numerous times each day in front of S and others. I have not approached H about the calls due to the circumstances.
Me: 39 H: 39 S: 15 M: 18 years Bomb: 6/3/09 H moved out: 10/15/09 H moved back:5/30/10
I know you're probably right but I struggle with this everyday. I often wonder if she realizes what the he!l she's doing.
Because of her my S has no respect for his father.
Because of her my H is no longer the honorable man I married.
Because of her I am living a nightmare.
Because of her my H no longer shares his emotions with me.
Hindsight is amazing because I now look back on my M and realize my H started pulling away when his relationship with her started. I realize our M wasn't perfect, what M is? I know it takes two to tango but I still love my H so all my negative thoughts and energy are focused on her. I just can't believe she would do this to a complete stranger. I feel if she spoke with the person whose life she is helping to destroy maybe reality would set it. But, I am dreaming, aren't I?
Last edited by Ashlee; 07/09/0903:02 AM.
Me: 39 H: 39 S: 15 M: 18 years Bomb: 6/3/09 H moved out: 10/15/09 H moved back:5/30/10
Gardener - H was trying to upset me. H wanted me to think I had a chance on saving our M but because I tried to call her, I blew it. I think just another way for H to try to assume control of me and our R.
Me: 39 H: 39 S: 15 M: 18 years Bomb: 6/3/09 H moved out: 10/15/09 H moved back:5/30/10
