so i guess i have to start a new thread since i cant reply anymore to my last one!!
its 4th of july and im lying in bed. i think im gonna allow myself to wallow today considering what happened earlier this morning. i know its not the best thing to do but i need to recover from the email. i will get up soon..just dont know when..
Me: 25 years young H: 37 No Kids M: almost 3 years (anniv coming up Sept 25th) Together: 4years Bomb: June 12th, 2009
**LOVE WILL FIND A WAY FOR TWO FOOLS IN THE RAIN**
i know Gardener, im sorry.. but this is really really hard for me. you dont have to urge me on, i know how annoying my posts are for people trying to move on and im sorry.i just feel like i need to vent and i just feel like this is a good place to do it, even if no one responds.
my goals for tomorrow is actually a huge one that im dreading. its actually not a goal but something i cant avoid. i have to move everything out of my huge studio which is going to take the whole day. lots of tables, sofas, mirrors..and theres no elevator and its on the 3rd floor so thats gonna be tough. ive recruited my brothers and dad to help me so that should be a bit easier. i dont think ill get it finished in one day but itll keep me away from the computer for awhile. i know im going to break down once i get to the studio because of all the memories i had working there with my ex H. but once i get it all done, i dont have to think about it anymore. its been lingering in my head for a long time and its something that i havent wanted to think about doing but the landlord wants everything out asap so i cant avoid it. once i get everything out, i can begin to think about moving out of my parents place.
so thats my goal for tomorrow.
Me: 25 years young H: 37 No Kids M: almost 3 years (anniv coming up Sept 25th) Together: 4years Bomb: June 12th, 2009
**LOVE WILL FIND A WAY FOR TWO FOOLS IN THE RAIN**
so the day is almost over and i havent done much, im really glad its almost night time so i can go to sleep and not think.
i moved some stuff that i had brought home from the studio into the basement. and then i read a ton of posts here which took up a few hours which helped and then just searched the web for ways to stop a divorce.
i talked to my friend about the email i sent my exH and all she has to say was I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY and then said she had to go. i have to say im really dissapointed with that
i asked my ex H to email me back and tell me that he was not in love with me anymore. thats all i want to hear from him and then i can move on. we were supposed to meet next week to talk and go watch a movie but he emailed me and said that he cant do it and hes not ready and that he doesnt know when he'll see or talk to me. i couldnt have that lingering in my head, i just couldnt. so i told him that i need this closure, i just need him to tell me that hes not in love with me anymore and he wont hear from me again. he hasnt written back, i hope he does. i really feel like i need that closure to move on.
im so confused. i dont want to let him go, but i dont want my life to stay the way it is. i feel like im being jerked around here. is it wrong of me to ask him to give me this closure? he says its over and a divorce is final so it shouldnt be hard for him to tell me that hes not in love with me right..i mean, i know he loves me but i dont think hes IN love with me since he wants the divorce..but he wont say it, not yet anyway. patiently waiting for a reply..that might not come and if it does, wont come for a very long while..
Me: 25 years young H: 37 No Kids M: almost 3 years (anniv coming up Sept 25th) Together: 4years Bomb: June 12th, 2009
**LOVE WILL FIND A WAY FOR TWO FOOLS IN THE RAIN**
Your pursuing him might actually push him closer to the divorce. While it is very hard to do the best thing is probably to give him his space and continue to work on you. If he proceeds with the divorce you will definitely get the closure you are looking for. But by not pursuing and working on you, you give him reasons not to divorce. Actually, I don't think that you want him to tell you that he doesn't love you anymore because you want closure, I think that you want to see if he will say it because if he doesn't it gives you hope. You just said and I quote, "I know he loves me but i dont think hes IN love with me". If you know that why do you need to her it from him? You are pursuing him and this won't help you. Continue to work on detachment and apply the DB tactics. Do not talk about the relationship. Give him his freedom and get a life. Whether he comes back or not you need to have your own life to be happy.
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
thanks wolverine: i didnt feel like this was pursuing him, i emailed him and told him that i dont want anymore contact with him but that i just wanted the closure of knowing that hes not in love with me. youre right that i dont want him to say it cause it gives me hope but on the same level, i do want him to say it because i feel like it easier to move on when i actually see those words from him. i need to hear it from him because i THINK that hes not in love with me, im not sure. if he says it to me, i will be sure of it and i can begin to move on because its very clear to everyone here whos read my posts that im having a very difficult time moving on and GAL. i want to be able to so badly, i do but i just feel like i need to hear it from him. thats all i ask of him and ill leave him alone for good until he ever decides he wants to contact me.
Me: 25 years young H: 37 No Kids M: almost 3 years (anniv coming up Sept 25th) Together: 4years Bomb: June 12th, 2009
**LOVE WILL FIND A WAY FOR TWO FOOLS IN THE RAIN**
Sorry, but you are fooling yourself. If he tells you, you still won't leave him alone. You will just find another reason to contact him. Take this opportunity to show some strength and use it as a springboard to GAL. A few posts ago you made comments that your husband said that he wants to be strong like you. Your actions caused a positive responce within him. Don't go backwards now. STOP PURSUING HIM. Continue with the 180 and show him how strong you are. Strength and confidence are compelling qualities that everyone likes in a mate. Don't give it all away. Stay strong sister!!!!
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
Listen, stay in bed if you want to. I just hate when we are told to "Get out there and GAL." It's too soon even for GAL at first.
I stayed in bed in the fetal position at first because I had to. This is still so fresh and you're going to be reeling for awhile.
Oh, and what kind of sick f*ck would email every day to tell you he "loves" you? Un-f*cking-believable! Seriously. That is the sickest game-playing. Ick!
