I was just considering some of the scenarios on here, especially cheating spouses, and it came to me that unwittingly, the cheating spouse may be following DB.
Consider the scenario of the cheating husband whose affair is discovered. What does his wife do? Well, if she's here on this board, she played Miss Understanding and put the blame on herself. She didn't fly into a rage and throw him out. Maybe she even ML to him, perhaps in ways he's never had before. So, what does that tell him? Continuing on with the affair without remorse is the correct thing...it's what works to allow him to continue the affair and get more sex at home...maybe both women in one day. How exciting! So, you could say he's doing what works.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
I'm getting at nothing in particular...just finding it interesting.
But now that you mention it, yes, I think there may be better success kicking the cheating spouse to the curb. What are most of the people on here (LBSes) but people that have been kicked to the curb and are desperately trying to win their spouse back. We want what we can't have.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
Also consider that the cheating spouse has probably "detached," the cheating probably represents a "180" for them (they're acting sexier and more aloof than before), and they may have either gone "dim" or completely "dark."
I was never a good DBer. I give better advice than I practice. I don't even DB well now; my wife and I still do a lot of the same things we did before. But several things I do know: You have to be willing to let them go. You have to learn to be happy with yourself and not need a spouse to feel complete. You have to be able to accept that there are things beyond your control, such as what your spouse does.
And yes, I can come back to your thread.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
