and it's still crazy..not for me but for her..I've said all along Karma is a bitch..what comes around goes around..dogs dying, speeding tickets, bum knees...Karma comes in many forms..
so I'm gonna start it like I always do with a song...and I'm I glad to be back..NO..actually debated on whether to start a thread or not..but I need somne opinions..co-parenting opinions..and if your experienced in dealing with batchit crazy then pull up a bar stool..drinks are on me..
Alright-Darius Rucker
Alright, Alright Yeah it's alright, alright
Don't need no five star reservations I've got spaghetti and a cheap bottle of wine Don't need no concert in the city I've got a stereo and the best of Patsy Cline Ain't got no caviar no Dom Perignon But as far as I can see, I've got everything I want
Cause I've got a roof over my head, the woman I love laying in my bed And it's alright, alright I've got shoes under my feet Forever in her eyes staring back at me And it's alright, alright And I've got all I need And it's alright by me
Maybe later on we'll walk down to the river Lay on a blanket and stare up at the moon It may not be no French Riviera But it's all the same to me as long as I've got you
It may be a simple life, but that's okay If you ask me baby, I think I've got it made
Cause I've got a roof over my head, the woman I love laying in my bed And it's alright, alright I've got shoes under my feet Forever in her eyes staring back at me And it's alright, alright And I've got all I need And it's alright by me
It's alright by me, yeah yeah When I lay down at night I thank the Lord above For giving me everything I ever could dream of
Cause I've got a roof over my head, the woman I love laying in my bed And it's alright, alright, alright, alright I've got shoes under my feet Forever in her eyes staring back at me And it's alright, alright, alright And I've got all I need, yeah I've got all I need And it's alright by me Oh yeah, it's alright by me
alright in a nutshell..I've been good..still dating long distance...I love my school teacher and her daughters..all is well there and gewtting more serious..movin forward..mostly been ok with Kim..we do not communicate unless it has to do with Caleigh...I do know a little about what Kim does just because I still have access to some of her email and i check it periodically....only when she has made some threats about visitation and such..and all those threats have been unfounded....so that's how I know Karma is a bitch..that's how I know about dead dogs and speeding tickets and bum knees...now..I know some of you will say..poo poo about me getting in her email..well I say all's fair in Batchittcrazyville..all she has to do is change the password...but she's too frickin crazy to realize that..
so that brings me to why I'm back here with a thread...it concerns co-parenting..visitation swaps..I have a week at Myrtle Beach 8/1 thru 8/8..that week is also one of my summer weeks with Caleigh...except..my week with Caleigh is actaully only 6 days/5 nights per the parenting plan..an oversight on my part and the L's but oh well..it is what it is..so..I've asked Kim to swap some days with me so I can have Caleigh the whole week..Kim has balked for this reason and this reason only..
Kim says-if caleigh is away from her mommy for 1 week solid then there may be some kind of emotional damage done to Caleigh that we don't realize.. and that's her only reason....she also doesn't quite know how to read the parenting plan because she can't seem to get that I get two weeks summer visitation...she's pissed me off recently due to all this(to the point that i called her a pompous ass)..because we were doing good with the swaps..but now..not so good..I'm trying to do all this and keep the L's out of it simply because of the money they charge...
and on a side note..Kim has said that Caleigh can go to the beach with me for 6 days/5 nights..and then after the 6 days Kimis willing to meet us halfway(only a 3 hour drive one way) to meet and swap Caleigh..it's not going to the beach that is an issue..it's the amount of time Caleigh is away from her..
so my question is this...go by the papers..100% of the time an not swap with her ever..or keep trying to work with Batchittcrazy..
I'm looking for positive solutions to the problem at hand..without getting walked all over..
I'll take a nice cold miller lite please (pitcher by the way)
You know, I played by the paperwork for the longest time, if it's not in black and white, no way.
Lately I have loosened up and XW and I negotiatie a little bit here and there to accomidate each other's schedules, and as a matter of fact it is written into my JPA that we can be as things do change over time.
That said an dstraight to the cut throat, she's concerned that too much time awway from her may damage her child? WTF does she think D does? That would be my arguement. And did she pause for half a second to think wht too much time away from her father might do to her daughter? Obviously not.
I think the proposal to meet half way may be the best resolution thus far.
I had it worked into the paperwork that XW is supposed to drop off the kids for visitation, and handle all transport should she move more than 30 miles from me. But in reality, since she hasn't moved yet and I pass 'her house' on the way home, I handle the transport for now, and guess what, she hasn't moved yet because of that in part. So, you can play with rules a bit and use them to your advantage. I have the upper hand as my Attorney wrote up all the paperwork and there are plenty of loopholes Xw's didn't catch.
Make sense?
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
I am all for email snooping to help strategize on how to deal with bat-chit-craziness and legal matters - been there, done that. If one is too stupid to change passwords, that is their problem. Heck, my X still has a picture of her and I as her display picture for Windows Messenger because she does not know how to change it.
It is only 2 extra days and I am sure Caleigh will have a blast with no long term lack of mommy syndrome setting in. I think your X is a stubborn mule and its all about control. Instead of offering swap time, you might consider offering her cash.
I'm sorry that you have to coparent with an idiot pompous ass that is terrible at negotiations. It probably is not worth getting a mediator involved for just this, but you may want to consider it for revising anything in the parenting plan.
I know its not easy negotiating with her, but there has got to be some sort of equitable solution. If it were to her advantage for you to have Caleigh, I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem. Is there any indication that there is something that she wants/needs in return that would make her change her mind?
Just curious if she has adhered to the papers 100% or has there been times that she has asked you for favors? Not that it would matter to her, but it might make her realize that it does work both ways. Yes I know I'm dreaming, but its worth a shot.
Glad to hear that everything is going good with your teacher and you are happy. Thats so cool.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
allow me to play devil's advocate. When beginning to do the paperwork about visitation I just lost it, cried and cursed at him since I began to realize I wouldnt' have my kids every day, I wouldnt' see them at night or when they woke up. We did agree on 2wks vacation for each parent, that thought also boggled my mind and couldtn being to think how I'd survive without my kids. X can go 5 days in a row without calling or seeing kids, I feel ill on the odd day I can't get call my kids during the 2-3days they stay at their dad's, that's just how us moms are.
I guess she is coming up with excuses to stay with her, the "emotional damage" part is pretty crazy and not true. Anyways those are my 2cents.
I say spell EVERYthing out at the L's, do try do work with her (heavens, how many times will we have to deal with vacations, holidays,etc etc where we'll have to be flexible here and there) and he she starts to go cucko just tell her that since are getting difficult you'll stick to the D papers if she is being unreasonable.
If you haven't yet, think of EVERY holiday and days off the kids get and make sure it's on paper who gets them or if you will be taking turns.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
well...we have been working very well together up untill the summer visitation schedule...
Quote:
That said an dstraight to the cut throat, she's concerned that too much time awway from her may damage her child? WTF does she think D does? That would be my arguement. And did she pause for half a second to think wht too much time away from her father might do to her daughter? Obviously not.
as I've said..I'm dealing with either Batchitt crazy, she's really truly mentally ill, she has a chemical imbalance or some sort of brain tumor...cause you can't use common sense and reasoning with her..she says she is thinking of Caleigh and putting her first...by not wanting her to be away from mommy for that time period..if that is so how does this put my daughter first??
Quote:
I think the proposal to meet half way may be the best resolution thus far.
I mean?? 6 hours in the car for my daughter??? for a child swap??
but I see what you are saying totally..I'm just trying to figure if I play the "go by the papers" cards..or still try to work this out with her so it will be fair to all involved..
I am all for email snooping to help strategize on how to deal with bat-chit-craziness and legal matters - been there, done that. If one is too stupid to change passwords, that is their problem. Heck, my X still has a picture of her and I as her display picture for Windows Messenger because she does not know how to change it.
It is only 2 extra days and I am sure Caleigh will have a blast with no long term lack of mommy syndrome setting in. I think your X is a stubborn mule and its all about control. Instead of offering swap time, you might consider offering her cash.
I'm sorry that you have to coparent with an idiot pompous ass that is terrible at negotiations. It probably is not worth getting a mediator involved for just this, but you may want to consider it for revising anything in the parenting plan.
Kamikaze...you're my kind of woman...I got sick as a dog one time on Kamikaze's..I need to stop iin on that nightmare you got going on...
Still Crazy?? or better??...I"M ALL ABOUT THE F'n Crazy!!!
Quote:
I know its not easy negotiating with her, but there has got to be some sort of equitable solution. If it were to her advantage for you to have Caleigh, I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem. Is there any indication that there is something that she wants/needs in return that would make her change her mind?
actually it's been pretty easy..easier than I expected really..this is a bump in the road and I'm trying to figure how I play this..she has said and done some things recently that have really pissed me off and I've let her have it by phone and email...she's said some little things to get to me..she also let me know that If I cared about my daughter that I would have scheduled my beach trip for later in August to coincide with a time when she was out of town for work so it would be less tramatic for my D....I then let her know that i scheduled 8 years of my life around her and her family and I would no longer do that...
Quote:
Just curious if she has adhered to the papers 100% or has there been times that she has asked you for favors? Not that it would matter to her, but it might make her realize that it does work both ways. Yes I know I'm dreaming, but its worth a shot.
truly we have accomodated each other and had no issues..she has a burr in her saddle and I do beleive that she thinks that Caleigh will suffer some sort of emotional trama if she is away from her from Saturday-Saturday...it's unfounded and I would hazard to guess there is not a child study out there that says that.
Quote:
Glad to hear that everything is going good with your teacher and you are happy. Thats so cool.
I mean?? 6 hours in the car for my daughter??? for a child swap?
Absolutely, maybe that 6 hours will slap her in the face and make her realize the whole thing IS crazy?
I'm in a similar predicament right now with my Xw over next weekend and the 4th of July playing into it as A) I have my boys for that weekend and B) I have them for the 4th year irregardless. Yet XW thinks she still gets her two cents in where they spend and how they spend the holiday. So, I'm playing this sort of game in return with her that perhaps your XW may do as mine and slowly realize it is pointless to argue it out amd see the err of her ways?
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
and that's her only reason
