Hi WT. I've missed you. I'm going to be updating more regularly here. I've been keeping a daily journal on my laptop but I need this place more so I'm going to start posting more again.
As far as the 2x4's - I seem to be screwing up a lot less lately because I'm becoming more detached. Don't worry though, I'm sure I'll give you reason to swing away.
Thanks for stopping by.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
Got up this morning with the usual ritual. Made lunches for both our kids, emptied the dishwasher, got the coffee going, made a bup for me and W, set my D up with a sippy cup of milk and plopped her on the couch to watch some Curious George. My W came down and said she had a really bad headache and didn't feel well. She wanted to know if I could take the kids to school. Told her no problem.
I called work and told them I'd be in later than normal. (Usually 7am start time). My S got up so I fed them both, got them dressed, brushed their teeth, loaded them into the car, said goodbye to my W and told her if she needed any medicine to call me. I dropped my S off at my brother's house (he takes the bus from there with his cousin) then took my D to daycare - then to work.
After work I picked up my D and then my S and we went home. The four of us hung out a bit and I ordered Chinese and picked it up. Cleaned up dinner and then I gave both kids a bath and into their pajamas. We went downstairs and the kids and my W played the Wii.
At bedtime I got the kids upstairs and I read to my D and sang to her. My W read and sang to my S. After that, W went into her room and I haven't seen her since.
Now all this from a man she claims isn't fit to take care of his kids by himself 50% of the time. LOL. Ummm.....ok.
She's actually been pleasant the past few days. Had some talking about other things besides kids and house. Just small chit chat. She's been very tired the last few days and I think she's got some depression going on. I'll see what happens in the next few days.
Our course is still set, no change. Still working on detaching, protecting myself, finding fun things for me and the kids to do, etc... Not pushing anything forward, not trying to stop anything, just letting her dictate direction with the sep/divorce stuff and I just move along only taking action when necessary to protect myself. For some funny reason, everything she has tried to do to control the situation (or me in the sitch) has backfired on her. And I didn't have to do anything - it just happened naturally. Gotta love when you line up with the universe...it always has a way of taking care of me when I surrender and accept what is.
Well that's the update. Not quite as exciting as some of my previous ones in the past year.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
You don't need nor want excitment at the moment. Keep it light and calm around the house and do you own thing. Your doing great and that is all that matters now.
Same old same old. Nothing much new happening lately. All 4 of us are sick the past couple of days so that's been a hoot. Most days are good. Some days a bit off...but I can't really complain.
One of the things on my list is I want to learn how to sail. So the other day I was talking to a guy I work with (just an impulse to start a conversation) and I come to find out he has 3 sailboats and he races them on the Hudson River. To make a long story short, I'm gonna go out with him and a few other guys (needs a crew of 6) next Sunday for my first sailing experience.
Now that's the 3rd synchronistic event that's happened in the past few weeks regarding things on my GAL list. It's pretty cool.
Mike, if you're around here, I just read your new thread and you were talking about Karma befalling your ex. It's funny, buy my W has been having some similar 'events' falling around her also and when they were happening the first thing I thought of was Karma.
Things around the house have been pretty calm. No arguments or blowouts, everything has been civil and the kids are doing well. I'm just putting one foot in front of the other.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
My W had the kids up at her brother's lakehouse all weekend and they're coming home today.
I had a busy weekend. Went out with friends on Friday night, drove to my sisters on Sat for a 4th of July party, and went sailing for the first time yesterday.
The funny thing is, I ain't loving this single kind of life. I miss my kids...lol. Don't get me wrong, I had a good time but it's not as fulfilling as it once was before I had kids. Maybe I'm just not used to spending this kind of time on my own. Who knows...
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
The funny thing is, I ain't loving this single kind of life.
As I told a dear friend this weekend - this is your new 'normal'. You start off feeling like you're missing a few limbs, but soon, they grow back. The balance returns and sometimes it's a personal balance you haven't felt in a very long time.
How was sailing? Sounds like you had a great weekend!
Hi there WT. Thanks for coming by. Sailing was good. We had great weather but the wind was a bit weak. We actually did two races with about 10 sailboats on the Hudson River. My friend belongs to a boating club and they race every Sunday. It was my first time sailing and it was a bit more work than I had imagined. We spent about 5 hours on the water and when we finished I was ready for some relaxing.
You're definitely right about having to reset my 'normal' setpoint. I'm still in the house now but having it all to myself for the weekend gave me a taste of when I won't have the kids every other weekend. I really did miss them quite a bit.
They came home yesterday and all I did was play with them until they went to bed. It was great.
My W has been pretty decent the past couple of weeks - last night she came in and started to tell me there were a few bills that were overdue. I mentioned I was waiting till she put her check into the account and then she started to make a comment how it was in there before the weekend....so I noticed this was one of the round about start ups to a conversation - I stopped her and said, "So what's your point?" I said that because I wanted to go directly into what she was wanting to say - we spent our whole relationship with this kind of round about way of getting to a point and I've realized it's not a healthy way to deal with stuff. It's something I'm trying to change so I don't have this kind of communication with people in general - or in a R.
Then she said we need a system to pay the bills. I commented we used to have a system. (Meaning until she decided to open up her own account and stop dropping the money into our joint account directly)
A little while later she came into my room and said, "I should have just asked you to pay the bills before we left for the weekend." I told her I would take care of it and pay them now.
She actually came in and sat on the bed as I was writing out the checks and we talked about different things - small talk. This is something we haven't done much of in the past weeks.
So that's a basic update.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
