Thanks Puppy...but I am done reading for a while I am tired of the self help romance building books, awareness books etc. That is where I am not right now. I need angels to walk with me. I have read enough to fill a library, I am tired of trying to figure out my wife brain. All I can do is love her...That is it.
And my kids. and figure out how I am going to coexist with her without feeling the pains of hell, and still be mr. chipper the entire time for Her and my Kids, while developing into mr. perfect to handle whatever storm is a brewing. I can say this that If I did not have the Lord with me, I would be no where, that is the most certain thing I know these days.
You wouldn't be reading this for HER. You'd be reading it for YOU, so that you fully know what you're up against. I think you're underestimating the pull of the addiction.
You Dbsters are going to love this!!! Wife wife is expressing the need for more Space...I thought that being physically separated was an answer and we both agreed to try it...Not so fast...I told her after I thought about it for an hour that although I had been a jerk, I knew what I wanted in life, her and my boys and I am not going to leave them to give her space. I advised her that if she needed more space that she was welcome to take it whenever wherever she needed. She said what about taking care of the kids, I said that I would take care of it . She was in shock that I agreed that she needed more space and that I put it back onto her. I could see the change come upon her. Finally feel in control in a loving way with freedom.
ME 43 Her 37 Married 6/98 2 sons 8 and 3 Love em tons Seperated March 20th Her- not sure Me willing to make changes
We tried to arrange a trip for her to go see her girlfriend, but I think that this would be a vacation for her. If she wants to get away I support her in that. But I have peace at home and am not leaving.
ME 43 Her 37 Married 6/98 2 sons 8 and 3 Love em tons Seperated March 20th Her- not sure Me willing to make changes
Ok I need help...i have been obsessing trying to spy..It is driving me nuts, causing me to be controlling, and I am afraid that I will drive my wife away if I keep up this crap...how the hell can I stop please someone tell me...give me some advice on how to let go of this.
ME 43 Her 37 Married 6/98 2 sons 8 and 3 Love em tons Seperated March 20th Her- not sure Me willing to make changes
I am done..with it. I have caught myself trying to control this situation, and although this is a different control issue than what we had problems in our R I can see that If I do not let it go. It will be the same sitch but differnt problem.. My Control is a problem.
ME 43 Her 37 Married 6/98 2 sons 8 and 3 Love em tons Seperated March 20th Her- not sure Me willing to make changes
Your choice. I would just strongly advise you that -- if you do -- that you proceed "as if" she IS having an affair, and work on your own stuff accordingly. The only danger in not snooping is basing your decisions on what the wayward spouse tells you, which is going to be "spin" at best, and LIES at worst.
I believe the DB advice is to just assume they're being unfaithful, and work on your DB techniques.
