Help..I have read Michell's books Divorce Remedy, My wife and I have been married for 11 years. two wonderful boys, and a very happy home. I have built resentment over her weight gain to the point that I damaged our intimacy and relationship, she built up walls like Jericho. Finally she had enough, she informed me that she wanted out. i was shocked..because over the last year I had actually put the physical behind me in our relationship, but the damage was done. Ther is nothing more that I want than to have my "eternal companion with me for ever. I I have made some seriouse changes, but she is still unsure. We are in a no sex relationship, but the hardest part for me is having here heart far from me. We are truly best friends, our councilor tells me that I need to be patient for my wife to see my changes are permanent. How long will this take? I know that I am over those issues, but How can I gain her trust back without begging or pleading?
ME 43 Her 37 Married 6/98 2 sons 8 and 3 Love em tons Seperated March 20th Her- not sure Me willing to make changes
but How can I gain her trust back without begging or pleading?
Consistent positive changes in your actions. COntrol your half of the relationship. Let her control her half.
Three important things are forgiveness,patience and Kindness.
Keep working on YOU. Become the man only a crazy woman would leave. DO not go overboard. Read as much as you can. I practice all my changes on everyone else until they are habit.
Listening, compassion, understanding.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Can you tell us more about your background and your current situation? The more information we have, the better. What have you done specifically in terms of DB?
There is no timeline for this stuff. It depends on what you do from here on out.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Thank you all, yes we have been distant for some time, I have been unhappy with the physical relationship because of the weight gain. I have been through many trials with her and she has stood by my side so much that I found her beauty more than the physical, I just did not know how to transition, until she finally said that she has been removed from our relationship for a couple of years. i was unhelpful around the house, and job stress did not make things better, long story short, I see things completely different, and feel that our love could be so wonderful. I have started serving in my chuch, running, more, helping homeless people, and spending more quality time talking to her, and with my kids. this is the real me. I want this "me" for her she deserves it. I am repentant, i do not force contact with her although we live in our home together. it is very hard for me because I want to squuze her and tell her that she is my queen, I have done that already, but she is not hearing or she has not had a change of heart...Going on 4 months now. Please give me encouragement
ME 43 Her 37 Married 6/98 2 sons 8 and 3 Love em tons Seperated March 20th Her- not sure Me willing to make changes
I have stopped going down the cheezless tunnels...and I am trying to be Ok with her distance. although we talk every day, make plans for the future, and share parenting with the Kids. I find myself thinking of her all the time. But i am disciplined and give her her space.
ME 43 Her 37 Married 6/98 2 sons 8 and 3 Love em tons Seperated March 20th Her- not sure Me willing to make changes
