It really depends on your situation. I've found that exposure or the threat of exposure is sometimes the only way an affair will end. Even then it doesn't end quickly.
First and foremost take stock of yourself, your contribution to the marital breakdown, and do not accept blame but rather understand how you can improve yourself. Don't fall apart, and work to rebuild respect.
Ultimately if you work on yourself you win regardless of what happens.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
With my W, when I found out, I promptly kicked her out of the house and told her that she would never see the kids again because I wouldn't want them hanging out with a liar for a mom.
Harsh, but I was pretty pissed at the time.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Let her know that you know what is going on, that you refuse to live in an open marriage and expose her. Is OM M? If so, expose to OMW.
Refuse to play into the fantasy and secretiveness of the whole thing and don't get emotional. Come from a position of truth and let her know what you are going to do if this continues. Don't make idle threats. Be prepared to say what you mean and do EXACTLY what you say. Not out of spite, because its the right thing to do.
JMHO...
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Is your W involved in a physical sexual affair or an emotional affair? When did you find out and how long has it been going on? The more information you can give, the better we may be able to help.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
