another newcomer - thread #2

[Hollygoheavy]

I need to keep referring back to your post where you detailed your conversation with her as an example for how to have a conversation with your spouse. That was excellent!

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Or you could do the sauce-for-the-goose reply -- "great ideas, but I'm super busy, too. Maybe tomorrow."

I LOVE this. ^

[JKL2009]

I think you nailed it - her bizarro version of DB. She is stressed our that her plan is not going as planned! Her message doesn't even make sense in light of some of what we briefly talked about last night. She is in a fog and just reacting. I'll email basically the short response.

[babymama]

Or you could do the sauce-for-the-goose reply -- "great ideas, but I'm super busy, too. Maybe tomorrow."

I vote for this approach.

[JKL2009]

Sent that message, got a reply back that was slightly softer. Lot going through her brain I bet!

[SavingMyMarriage]

I just read your post AGAIN regarding the discussion you had with your W. I think I can learn a thing or two from you. I can feel a discussion coming soon with my W -- this week or next. If it's similar to the last one we had on 5/8, she'll say she wants out or that she wants to move out... I'll have to plan a good response...

It does sound like your W has a lot on her mind / a lot to process. The fact that she's bouncing back and forth tells me that she is confused on what to do and that she wants to get some things done in case she goes through with it... Just my two cents...

[givingitmyall]

Been following your sitch. Similar to mine. I can also feel it will soon be time for a discussion on where we stand - although my C and DBing says not to bring it up. Little confusing.

I just wanted you to know I am learning a great deal from your sitch and am wishing you the best. Hang in there.

[JKL2009]

Glad y'all are getting something from my posts. Power in numbers here, keep on spreading the wisdom and help!

[SavingMyMarriage]

Yeah, my C said the same thing -- not to bring up the R (only have the WAW bring it up). I just go along, try to happy, and be full of energy until she brings the R up. She brought mine up twice since I stopped talking about it (end of Mar and on 5/8).

If you read JKL's two threads, you'll see that his W is bringing up the R quite a bit. I think the frequence varies, but it also depends on how good one is at DBing. I'll admit, that detaching and other things are VERY hard for me. I'm doing a little at a time, but sometimes I feel that I'm cheating...

[givingitmyall]

It's been 4 weeks since I stopped pursuing, but W has not mentioned anything about R. How long until she brings it up?

Sorry, not trying to hijack the thread.