I have seen little to almost nothing to show that to pursue will do anything but bring out more anger... I have stopped and then she will do small things to draw me back a little... Then back to standing off... This is PDT place and I dont' want to intrude but someone that has gone through what I think my W is could help clear up the confusing actions she takes... Check back through my post please on my thread...
PD
Me 40 waw 39 Never formally M Common law SD 16 SS 13 Together 9 yrs bomb 10/2/08 She started dating 11/08 Started P/A 01/09 Contiunes to call R over
Thanks for stopping by and your post(s) on my thread!! FYI, I just added an "update"...... I didn't want you to think I'm a complete wet noodle!! I'm still determined and committed to hanging on to MY life!
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
How goes it at the dogpound? Just checkin' on you.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
We are hanging in there. My wife -- after refusing for 15 years to any kind of individual counseling -- has now eagerly SOUGHT ONE OUT (came recommended to her from a friend), has had her first session, and goes again next week. She's actually EXCITED about it, and looking forward to her next session!
This is HUGE for us. We agreed the last time we called the D off that the order of priority was:
1. IC for her 2. MC for us 3. IC for me (since I'd already done some of this, and was struggling less than she was)
I'm hoping this woman can help her understand herself better, why she's struggling with finding contentment in her "everyday" married life, and how she can deal with some of her issues.
Thanks, WP! This is the most hopeful I've been in a long time. My wife has never been one to "want to face her own stuff" (I mean, who does??), so for her, this is big.
Now that the formerly-dormant WAS has awoken, I need to know what to spike her cereal with to get her to face her own stuff, too... What is the secret ingredient you've been using? Or, is it in the secret sauce you use on the BBQ ribs?
-AlexEN
Last edited by AlexEN; 06/12/0904:20 PM.
New: What a Weekend
H-48 WAW-49 M-22 S-14,9 D-11 EA disc.-11/07 PA disc.-3/08 EA2?-6/08 to ?
Seriously, I did ask her "What was different this time? You've NEVER wanted to go for ICing before!" and she said "I was just ready. I didn't care (about any hangups, etc.) this time -- I just knew I was ready for some help." (or words to that effect).
She also said that she basically DOESN'T FEEL EQUIPPED to be making a potentially life-altering decision of this magnitude (whether or not to divorce) when she's not in a healthy emotional state herself.
She's showing a maturity that I haven't seen in her before, and that's good -- however it comes out.
