Yes. A) Men are bigger liars (but of course the LBS believes everything she hears), B) Men want what they can't have (which is why they come back after the LBW has already given up...unless she's at least given the perception that she has), C) Men are not above telling their wives what they want to hear in order to keep two women on the hook at the same time. D) Men don't arrive at the decision to leave after years of feeling miserable...they do it when they are interested in some other woman. If the interest in the wife is piqued...there aren't a lot of long held anger issues holding him back. Of course, these are generalizations. P.S. Piquing the WAHs interest does not involve having sex with him in new and interesting ways...it's not being available and needy anymore. Guys want a challenge...if you are going to act like a slut, they'll take the sex, but that's it.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
I think DB works the same for men and women. I feel DBing is making personal changes in yourself. The positive changes you make increase your sex appeal to members of the opposite sex. You now have self awareness of how your actions affect others and can control your actions to bring about positive interactions with others......JUST MY POV
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Yes. A) Men are bigger liars (but of course the LBS believes everything she hears), B) Men want what they can't have (which is why they come back after the LBW has already given up...unless she's at least given the perception that she has), C) Men are not above telling their wives what they want to hear in order to keep two women on the hook at the same time. D) Men don't arrive at the decision to leave after years of feeling miserable...they do it when they are interested in some other woman. If the interest in the wife is piqued...there aren't a lot of long held anger issues holding him back. Of course, these are generalizations. P.S. Piquing the WAHs interest does not involve having sex with him in new and interesting ways...it's not being available and needy anymore. Guys want a challenge...if you are going to act like a slut, they'll take the sex, but that's it.
I think you just descended from the heavens and dug up this post. Reality check that I suppose I need just in time for Hs return home.
I so needed to read this right now. DH has decided (after spending the weekend with ow) that we need a visitation schedule. He has brought it up twice since Wednesday. I am fairly certain that she is freaking out about him being here all the time. Lets be honest, its been over 18 months for them and she is not seeing any movement to something permanent and at 50, she ain't no spring chicken.
I told him that was fine, he could have one day a week and every other weekend. I did ask if we could wait on it until the kids were done with school in three weeks and he agreed. I also told him I would draft an agreement and get it signed and notarized, I expected the same from him. In addition, I told him that there would be clauses in it, that if not adhered to, would result in repercussions. He did not ask what they were but I am sure he knows they have to do with the OW and exposing the kids to her and their relationship.
I am moving forward and he will be in for a huge surprise when he has to watch it happen from the sidelines.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Like any tool, people use it differently, with varying results. Yet in the end, the most amazing thing is learning to let go of crap, the incidentals and grow, starting on the journey of becoming the person you're meant to be.
I once had a conversation with a older Woman on this very subject. I'm 47 and she was about 55/56 or so. We were talking about MLC and how about 1/2 of us go thorough it (men and woman). I kind of have the feeling she went through it even if she didn't say so. To much knowledge not to have some experience with this. She was divorced and seemed relatively resigned and content to her situation in life.
She told me she thinks Men have less tolerance and patients to wait out what their spouse was going through. In other words, she said Men don't have the ability to 'stand' for a significant period of time as Woman do. I got the feeling she was disappointed her ex didn't wait for her to go through it.
I think she described me in some ways.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
