It's MY life now!!!........

[SoCo]

Hey, looking good is awesome no matter who tells you, man or woman! Glad you had fun.

[Silent Chrleader]

Hi, (((((peace, Grace & SoCo)))))!

I am doing pretty well this week. One funny thing I forgot to tell y'all about when I went out dancing Saturday nite was that about 10 minutes after we got there, I spilled my whole f'ing drink in my lap!!!

Lucky for me, it was tonic water!!! But, I got a few laughs while lifting my skirt up to the blow dryer in the ladies room!! Thank heaven it was actually a "skort" so I wasn't flashing my unmentionables....

Anyway, I had my first session back with my C yesterday, at his new office. I'm so thankful to have him back. We had a really good session. Talked about my feelings of wanting to have a "closure" session with STBXH.... We'll see how I feel down the line. C gave me a lot to think about....

[Grace_O]

Talk about lucky (with the tonic water and the skort)!

Nothing like trying to fix something like that on a bathroom dryer.

C's do have a way of making you think. I'm not always sure I like that

[Silent Chrleader]

....C's do have a way of making you think. I'm not always sure I like that

I know what you mean, Grace. During our session, I had told C that in the beginning of my sitch, I had taken a lot of the responsibility for the breakdown of the M on myself. I thought that I had made a huge mistake in not showing him I loved him in his "love language" (i.e. acts of service.....housecleaning, cooking, etc.). I was always afraid that if I did the things he demanded, then he would walk all over me.

It should be noted that we had maids come in to do the house for the last several years of our M...... we didn't live in squalor or anything remotely like that! And I worked full time through most of my M, except when the kids were babies (I was able to not work for the first 2 years of each of their lives.)

Anyway, I asked C if he thought it might have made any difference, and he was very sure that it wouldn't. C thinks that if I had done what H wanted, I would have been a total doormat and H would have had zero respect for me at all! C basically feels that there was always deep seated intimacy issues with H and that he will never, ever, be able to be vulnerable with anyone ever. Therefore, he will never be able to have a true connection on an emotional level, and he will always be able to walk away from any relationship without qualm because he is incapable of that bonding. So, C felt that this was probably always just a matter of time, and if H couldn't have picked on those "house-wifey" issues, he would have found something else.

Truthfully, I'm not sure if the that makes me feel better or worse!!!

[Grace_O]

Ooh, second guessing! That used to be one of my favorite games <slams head on desk>. I really work at not going there as much anymore.

I think you C may have a point. You would know better than anybody b/c you know your H best.

You know, if I had started out sane, this would still have made me crazy. <twisted grin>

Going dancing this weekend?

I was invited to a Halloween party, but I don't know that I'll be able to attend (house full of teenagers).

However, I do start belly dancing Monday.

[peacetoday]

belly dancing grace
should be fun

hi silent
glad your C session went so well
interesting thing what the C said about bonding and your h
seems many of these mlcers/was have deep;y seated emotional issues from childhood
nothing we could do about it
still it is sad..we picked them and a losing battle from the go
but still we have learned so much especially about the R
hopefully we will use the information in our next R
peace