Need some advise

[Doingitright]

I have been following the 7 steps in divorce remedy and need some advise. I have two very significant dates coming up in our relationship, 15 years together and our 13 year marriage anniversary. How should I proceed with these occasions?

Super summarized back ground:
Wife wanted to separate (8 weeks ago)
Does not love me like a husband...no longer attracted to me
Started your 7 steps 2 + weeks ago
Asked not to proceed to a divorce
Agreed but held where we were (no real movement)
Caught her in an emotional/tried to be more than affair
Proceeded towards divorce
She asked to not go down the D route
Has said affair has stopped
Asked to go to counseling together
Attended counseling this week together
Both confirmed we would not D
Reaffirmed commitment to counseling together

[Puppy Dog Tails]

. . .

Caught her in an emotional/tried to be more than affair
. . .

Has said affair has stopped

Have you confirmed this? Because if she IS cheating, she's going to lie to you about it.

MCing isn't going to really be effective as long as one of the partners is having an active affair.

Puppy

[Doingitright]

I understand. At this point all I can do is trust. I cant afford a PI and everything was being done on her phone. The calls and text messages have stopped. Seems that things have changed by her doing. Not on the phone doing facebook constantly. In fact the phone is generally in another room from where we are sitting almost all the time now. Family time or time together is just that, no phone constantly being picked up to see what someone wrote on her wall. No hiding the phone when you walk into a room because she was FB'ing or emailing him. I still have my reservations but if I don't begin to trust I might as well have filed for D. It can be a question asked in our next session. Have you stopped all communications with the OP?

[Doingitright]

I am just stuck on the * how do you celebrate being together when we are apart *. I wasn't sure what the strategy is for special occasions however; especially wedding anniversaries considering the no feelings and other things said regarding us as a couple.

The direction of my not saying I love you whenever we talk or email worked well and really hit her hard. She pointed it out and was quite mad. I pointed out I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable when we talked and it didn't seem appropriate for our situation. I said it felt like she would wait for me to say it first and then she would. She never said it first. Now she makes a pointy of saying in VM, Emails and before I leave the house all the time.