thanks PD, im trying to keep it together. W and I are on a good talking level having nice convos about nothing too important. What now? just leave at that for awhile? as i said she asked me to pick up a couch and drop it off at a friends house for her till she gets back on the 1st and i did it but i wasnt to happy about it at all i didnt let her know that. she keeps asking me for favors... like paying all the bills for her still so she doesnt mess up either of our credit, moving the couches, running her errands cause she is not here to do it. all of this is wearing me thin and ive only been at it for a month. to tell the truth im not looking forward to her coming and leaving the house to move into her own apt, its going to be crushing all over again.
W texted me today asked if i had the divorce papers drawn up... i dont know why she thinks im the one thats going to do that. then she bought D all new furniture for D's new bedroom at her apt. I def wasnt happy about that of course i didnt say anything at all to that. cant believe its actually gone this far there has been this piece of me that keeps saying that she isnt going to do this but every step she makes this piece of me gets smaller and smaller... D is going to be so confused about all this when she comes back and has two homes, two bedrooms, doesnt get to see her mom and dad every day or her dog, or play in her own back yard any day she wants to. I'm actually starting to get a little pissed about the whole thing.
good news though i did buy me a D plane tickets to go back to florida for a couple of weeks see some family and some old friends. In the last 5 yrs me and W have been together ive only made it home 1 time (2 yrs ago) to see family cause we are to busy going to see W's family all the time. "your not as close to your family as my family is" which in a way is true been on my own since i was 16 but still i have alot of history back there and my family loves our D just as much as hers does and deserve to be part of her life as well. so i'm GAL, taking my D home and we are going to have a good time, and i plan on chillin on the beach and listening to some bob marley with some old friends. enough of my rambling....
those of you that are new and may be reading this post im sorry to see you here but happy that you came to this place, its where you need to be. the people here are very helpful and i would be way behind the power curve and would have probably fallen apart if it wasnt for them. listen to what they have to say it really helps.
Hi Ammo. Sorry to hear you're spinning on these things. This sucks to be sure, but you'll find that divorce would NOT be easier. It's not even really helpful in moving on from what I can see.
Be good to your daughter and to your W. This may be a temporary situation and then it may be a permanent situation. It WILL be permanent if you act like it is (self-fulfilling prophecy right?)
GAL and setting boundaries is very important. Do it. Don't wait for her. Don't wonder what she thinks of it. Be the man and move on with your life. She needs to respect you for it.
Above all else, protect your daughter and be careful what you tell her about mommy and daddy. As much as it hurts, you are the parent and your daughter deserves your very best - she's blood relation and has no choices in this.
You are doing very well judging by your posts. Give it time. Be you. Worry about you and your daughter and let your W worry about herself. She'll get it figured out at some point. But it will be a long time most likely (as in, longer than you'd like). Meanwhile, make the most of it.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
I'm a little confused on the whole self-fulfilling prophecy thing... What do you mean by acting like this is permanent? I'm asking cause i dont want it to be that way and want to make sure by me detaching and me acting like its permanent isnt the same thing. I've stopped calling, texting,(unless i need to for D) asking her whats going on what shes doing, I keep the conversation short and on D, Im the first one off the phone, and im doing everything for me and D, I have done her a couple of favors mentioned in earlier posts. Should I be doings something more when me and W talk? I'm just trying to clarify I just feel like i cant really afford to make any more mistakes...
So... this weekend was awesome went camping on the lake. Me and D had a blast. W texted a couple times asked if we were having a good time and asked if i had called her. didnt get the text till later in the day so just told her we were having a blast and that i hadnt tried to call her. Then she called when we got back and wanted to know everything about the trip. I just told her that it was a really good time and that i took alot of pictures. I told her if she wanted to see them they would be on my myspace page. I didnt think about her the whole weekend it was awesome.
not much else to report i hope everyone is having a good memorial day weekend!
