The weekend "date" that I had planned for H finally happened after having to be rescheduled after H's uncle died. It turned out marvelously! I had several surprises planned for him. He was pleased and appreciated it all. He held my hand!! He hasn't done that in a long time. Told me once back in April when his head was still way up his A$$ that if I ever wanted to hold hands to just do it. Yea right. That needs to be initiated by him. I had to break down and ask H last week if he was just sticking around here waiting for youngest son to turn 18 in 4 years. He said a definite NO. I know, I know we aren't "supposed" to bring up this stuff but you get so tired of NOT KNOWING!!! This is my life too, not just his. Anyway, I'm taking a chance here saying that baby steps are being noted and H seems much happier than he did in Feb-May. All he wanted all along was the woman back that he married. I almost blew it. I could kick myself when I think of all the wasted time. Live and learn I guess. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks.. Lisa
I am so happy for you. What a great weekend! You're baby steps sound like fun. I also just wanted to check in with you and let you know I am happy for you.
Sorry I never got in touch. We are having major layoffs right now. My flexibility is nilch and I feel like I would be bummer to hang with.
Lisa, thanks for the kind words. It was fun, I wanted to make a memory. h and I didn't do enough of these special alone times before. I do believe that my H and have reached a new level recently, I noticed this before the weekend. I would have rated my marital sit. a "1" at the time of the bomb and for the next 3-4 months but now,8 months later I'd have to give a rating of 6. Others might say it sounds like 7 or 8 but I still haven't heard ILY, he still isn't wearing his ring, and I'm still insecure. After all, I THOUGHT I was secure for 19 years and then to find out I was being naive and wearing blinders was a real blow to any security I thought I had. Maybe (hopefully)I can rate us at 7 by anniversary of the bomb in 4 months. However, trying to learn to have NO expections has been a hard lesson too. We want it all better now! But, no pain no gain, right? You hang in there and keep us posted. Lisa
Tiel: I am so glad because your h baby steps... if you had read my stories you know i am also living in some way the same situation as you... rebuilding and trying to feel not insecure... I told you a good story about my h wedding ring in my post Happy birthday and Happy rebuilding... if you can, read it and give me your opinion...!!... Yes we were so secure and pass all this... so now, after all the turmoil and direct evidence, seems like impossible not being insecure... i think we still need to work a lot on us... on ourselves.... Good luck and stay in touch... i wish more baby steps will be around your marriage...
I can relate to the insecurity issue..SO MUCH. That is what wrecked our reconciliation that was going well this summer. I couldn't handle him going out with others where he was in mixed company (and didn't ask me to go).
If you get a chance, take a stop by my post. Had talk w/H last night and it went well. But I have to remember to stay ME Focused.
I hope I will have a romantic weekend in the near future. Maybe I will put that on my list of goals!
