I have been lurking on these boards for a while. amazing similarities in the stories. My wife told me dec 30 she no longer wanted to be married. completely out of the blue. moved out Feb 14 and has filed for divorce and pushing hard to have it finalized.I am 42 shes 38 we did everything as a family. my boys race go karts and we have a boat and were always together. She says she did not feel loved by me and i was never happy. I have since got on a.d. and really doing well by my boys, but she has no interest in trying. I have read D.R. but admit i have not done very well. every time we talk we end up angry, now its just text. I feel like everything I have worked towards is gone. any advice is appreciated
We will always struggle with what we want to accomplish, but keep trying. If you want something bad enough you will find within yourself the will to do what you need to do. Dont give up and dont beat yourself up because it didnt work the first time. Just keep trying. I want to make a suggestion. I just watched the movie "Fireproof". I learned alot from just watching it and can say that I am going to try an use some of the things that I got form the movie in my own situation. The movie is based on religion, but it is worth seeing. It opened my eyes to things I hadnt thought of and I am greatfull for getting anything new that I can try. In the end I will know that I did everything I could and from the sounds of it, it sound like you want to do the same. I dont know if any of this will help you, but I hope that it will.
just mainly said she did not feel loved. my family was not very affectionate. she said she thought i was angry all the time, and not happy. I cant rule out om but I have not seen any evidence of it. but she has 4 days straight every week when i have the boys. I have not seen her in over a month. we are supposed to have lunch on friday to discuss financial stuff. We had gotten in a pretty tight money sitch over the last six months. I desperately love my wife but she just seems so angry with me.The only words I get out of her are its over.
Sounds like my situation. Wife announced she wanted a divorce just before christmas, said she felt neglected, unloved and I admit I have not treated her very well over the years. No conselling just straight to divorce, very quick and I think it is because there is somebody else which is killing me. My family are not very loving either, so I have not had any contact with them for months. My wife is angry with me too, but I have been told it is because she is in turmoil with her decision and the guilt of breaking up a family. She will try to blame you for everything to justify the WAW fog she is in.
More seasoned posters will repond to your post and will give you all the advice you need. We are all in the same boat here, it hurts like hell but you are in the right place to try and make sense of it all.
Take care.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
I never new anything could hurt this bad. mine also would not agree to any counseling. I have done everything wrong as far as pursuing.I have recognized my fault in this but she just refuses any part. and if the sun shines today it is my fault
Me too, and I also have done things that have pushed us even further apart. But from Monday of this week I have/will show everyone I am moving on and am very happy with my situation even though I am not. Are you still living in the marital home? If so, most people suggest you have the best chance of making DR strategies work as your wife can see your changes. What are you working on at the moment?
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
Best thing anyone has told me so far is, "it's gonna get better." Whether that means reconcilliation or a new life, you have to realize that when the story of your life is written, this is most likely the crisis. This is where you are tested. And you cannot control the outcome of this crisis, only your actions in it. Sometimes it help me (in a remarkably similar sitch) to think in those terms. "when the story of your life is written, how do you want to act in this particular chapter." Stay strong my friend.
