Well i was doing pretty good i had 3 days of NC with WAW and i was going to be having my 1st phone consultation on thursday so on tues. 4/14 i textd her and asked if she would like to participate and that just started the whirlwind of comments i never thought i would hear from her. She doesnt love me it is over Ive had 13yrs to change and it is too late, that there will be no second chances and that im only going to counseling because im panicking trying to repair what is totally irreversable to her. Man that really hurt pretty bad i simply responded that i would take that as a no, and to have a good day. Yesterday i spoke to her mother she and i have a pretty close relationship and she told me that there whole family has no idea what is going on with her right now that she is crying to them that she is losing her best friend and lover and she cant stop it. Today i had a consultation with sheryl and she told me to basically GAL, and to go dark, have had NC since 4/14 and it is killing me but have to try the advice i am givin. She also told me when she was on her tyraid that she wanted her name off all bills and that she wanted basically to cut all ties with me untill she was over this and then we can be friends. But untill then she has boundries and her boundries are to not talk to me because she doesnt love me anymore. So as of right now for the first time in the past 13 yrs of my 28 i am single and it hurts pretty bad. Just the feeling that she doesnt love me is the killer that for some strange reason she could go from discussing children with me and her mother a month ago to now be saying that she doesnt love me anymore is just shredding my heart to pieces.
Don't believe a word of it! She doesn't know what she wants right now, and she might not know for quite some time. Leave her alone. Give her the space and time that she asks for. If she wants no contact, then give her no contact. I know it's hard...but believe me you will be better off if you do these things. Don't cry in front of her, or beg, or plead. These are all mistakes. I know your heart is telling you to do those things but DON'T LISTEN TO IT! Listen to your head. Those things will only push her further away.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Thanks for the reply antlers i have been reading alot of what you have had to say to many others and am happy to hear you chime in on my behalf. I have committed myself to DB and the advice of sheryl and to the people on this board i am really just struggling the most because i have been 400miles away from her for 10months and we only have 2 months untill she would be back at home. I have asked on 2 occassions if there is another man and both times she assured me there was not she told me the last time that she thinks it is easier to try to put the blame on another person than to blame ourselves, but either way the blame is soley on us. I will not contact her untill she contacts me and untill, and when she does i will try to pull away as far as i can and act as if i accept this tragedy. My dogs have a vet appt. on 5/5 she told me that she wanted to pay becuase those are her boys and she wants to take care of them. I really dont know how to respond to this. Since her main complaint is that she is like my mother and is always taking care of me and i am now trying to show her that i dont want a mother i already have one i want my hilarious,beatiful,caring,intelligent,loving wife back. Either way this will not be an easy battle as she is as hard headed as she is beautiful but, i am more stubburn and hard headed than she and if there is a chance i will prevail. And if she is truly done than i will only come out a stronger person.
