I am NOT calling. I want to, but I am NOT. I will not let myself do that anymore. I guess I was thinking out loud. I knew it would be wrong. Sorry I scared you all. It's just a feeling that I am not going to act on. The feeling is normal isnt it? Or is this still obessing. Believe me, I dont want to obsess, its hard though. Especially when they are out eating, being a family and here I sit, nothing to do on a Friday night. I so wish I had a date.
The feeling is normal...so is that feeling FADING in time.
It doesn't fade away if you keep feeding it, by giving in to the tempations to snope, call, and basically keep yourself in his life.
And really, for the love of Pete, you son had to walk all the way to the end of the driveway? OMG!! Thats like what...at most 100 feet. I think your 18 year old son can manage that, unless he has gout.
Last edited by Jack_Three_Beans; 04/17/0911:47 PM.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Checkout meetup.com - I am sure it would be a lot of fun to do one of those hiking meetups.
When X and OM come over, I never looked out - I usually am too darn busy getting the kids ready to go to care.
OM and I are civil with each other. He is an ok guy and the kids like him. I talked with him early on, but only so I could put my worrys to ease in regards to the kids. I pretty much have the attitude now of "you can have her - good luck with that".
Well, there's a thin line between obsessing and simply thinking out loud about doing something obsessive!
Sure, it is "normal" to feel the way you do. It is what you choose to do that may end up being the problem.
It is fantastic that you are not going to call. Now we just need to help you get to the point where you can stop these thoughts.
Believe me, I have gone down this slippery slope. It was only in the very late fall that I learned that my XH had been dating. Even then, he denied the seriousness of it. Then I read his email about a month ago (and yes, my friends here threw the stalker label on me, too--- rightfully so) and found out that he really misrepresented the relationship.
People here reminded me that I had no claim on him, and what he did was no business of mine. SL, this woman lives about 3 blocks from me. I have been passing by her house for years to get to my gym. Right away I changed my route home. Why put myself through that? I am also very guarded about my facebook friends- I am sure that we have mutual friends and I do not want that connection out there. It is not a matter of not being able to handle myself--- it is that I don't want to waste the time or energy on the thoughts. I go about my life and I don't worry about what anyone else is doing.
I have heard of people wearing a rubber band on their wrists, and each time they start to think about their X they give it a good snap. I never had to do this, but you better believe I would have if necessary.
My good friend on here would write letters to her X and then put them into a box for safekeeping. She never had any intention of sending any of them. She just needed to get some things out. When she was ready, she burned all the letters.
Kerry, hiking? I dont know if I would make it. I am out of shape, not really a whole lot overweight, just out of shape. Well I am more overweight than I would like to be. Anyway CNMN, what is your fb name. I am on there to. I will add you. Also who are some others? I dont know everybodys real name.
Kerry are you dating now? I was trying to catch up with your post. I want to date, but no one will have me right now. lol
Ok guys I am going out to find something to do to occupy me. And Jack, yea I know I have to let those feelings go. I was thinking, maybe I over-reacted about her not pulling in driveway. I mean I did ask my xh the last time I spoke to him if he was trying to destroy me. I meant by her bragging all over town. (I now know that was wrong). It's no wonder he is cautious about letting her even pull in my driveway. Maybe he really doesnt want to cause me pain. Maybe I have him all wrong.
Jack I would NEVER expect him to come to the door. But making my son walk to the road is crazy HE IS 18 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD - HE CAN WALK TO THE FREAKIN STREET!!! . He doesnt pull in the driveway because of me, I know this, he always pulled in before OMG, GET OVER YOURSELF! He didn't pull into the driveway because of HER and NO that doesn't make it her fault. It just means he's an ass putting on a show. WAKE UP!!! . I dont think I am obsessive, I just dont get him Yes, you are and the very fact you are still having to "vent" over nonsense and still even TRYING to "get" him proves it. . It's just the little mean things he does. I didnt even open the door. I could have been standing in the door, but I didnt want to. No need to. But making my son walk all the way to the end of the driveway, when all he had to do was pull up and let him get in, is crazy. Do you not think that is childish? No. It's par for the course. But I think you are acting full on RIDICULOUS b*tching about an 18 year old having to walk to the friggin street! Get your priorities straight. Do you want to nitpick for the rest of eternity or do you want to get a life and some self esteem? Because at this rate, you're two steps forward and about 12 steps back so make a choice. It's either YOU or the EX. PICK ONE AND CUT THE OTHER ONE LOOSE BECAUSE WHETHER YOU SEE IT NOT, THIS KIND OF CRAP IS SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF YOU!
