Thanks everyone for giving me some new ideas. Honestly it is more of planning by default but I need to try it. I am too damn tired to keep trying so hard so the plan is to go completely neutral and see what happens. I am shelving my needs and requests for awhile. I have once again begun to focus too much on our R and not enough on me. Time to once again lower my expectations to reduce disappointment.
I was letting my emotions run the show when you heard from me last. I wasn't "comfortable" with my sitch so I was flailing. I am actually kind of embarassed of my actions.
I have made many new years' resolutions in regard to just about very aspect of my life and they are working very well for me. The main objective is to not be so "reactionary". That gets me into a lot of trouble.
I stopped in to check on you all and am excited with what I see. So many stories are progressing. My sitch is the best it has been in over 2 years. She loves me, I love her, the kids are great, our businesses are flourishing, we refinanced the house at a ridiculously low rate, we had a great christmas and couldn't be happier. The biggest crisis in our life right now is a sick cat. I think after the last 2 years that we can deal with that (I don't even like cats )
One bit of advice. Make your own decisions regarding your R. I don't care how well friends know you and your sitch, they don't have to live with the consequences of your decision to stay married or not. We have very well intending friends and family but no one but you and your SO know exactly where the R stands. My very well meaning and very knowledgable friends wanted me to end our R for my own health and well being. I could't do that and now I couldn't be happier. I am not saying to stay in a R no matter what but hang in there as ong as you possibly can. For the patience poster child read all of Zebra's threads. And yes he succeeded in the end. Good luck and be true to yourself.
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