he is back, i think

[mdoodles]

ok ok ok....i just made plans with a friend so i wont be home, which is good.

im not comfortable with him sleeping out if he chooses to though. i dont want my house to be a pit stop when its convenient for him to stay here.

but if u tell me to say nothing, i will say nothing.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

There will be a time to make a stand. Now just isn't that time.

[Silver Fox]

We don't think about "positive" and "negative" signs when we're dropping the rope, dear.

Yes, follow Puppy's advise, you won't be sorry.

Your H has to go back to his "cave" every now and then. He's scared, very scared.

Be the strong, fearless one.

[mdoodles]

well i did a bad thing or a smart thing....

i went and found where he was, found his car, her car and saw him come out of a place, and a girl jump on his back, a piggy back ride!

im nauseous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the funny thing is it didnt look like the mistress.

im so losing it. now that i saw, i just cant.

i thought it was over, we opened this business and now he is back with her? or someone else?

oh my g-d. im losing it.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Doodles,

Are you really that surprised? Isn't this what your gut's been telling you all along?

At least you know the truth. So DROP THE ROPE, and let him deal with his stupid, foolish behavior for now. I thought you were going out with friends tonite?? Why are you following him around like a pathetic high schooler??

I know this hurts, but you've got to DROP THE FREAKING ROPE.

Puppy

[pollyanna]

You will feel so much bettter, stronger, more rational, more f ocused when you DROP THE ROPE. We all know it is hard and that it feels like you are giving up and that he wins. He does not win , he loses it all. He will realise it, as soon as he sees the woman he married. Right now you not that person. Your needy and miserable.

I had an A, my H stayed and tried to fix manrriage, I did to a certin point but not enough. My H stopped chasing, crying and he turneed away. That stopped me in my tracks. Now I am the LBS.

By dropping the rope , you stop thinkimh about waht he is doing or doing it with. Try the feeling of indifference. Everyonr here will tell you to GAL and I was tired of hearing it BUT they were right. You esteem is shot at the moment. You need to rebuild.

What can you do with the store ? Do you need him involved? Can you run it ?.


i am presently running 3 companies, I have sole responsibility of children and manage 3 commercial properties and 10 residential. The biggest company was H and specialised. He has walked away and washed his hands. I would never of believed it, but I can do it ( for a while ) I also engineered myself into this position , while H focused on his new sex life.

You need to take the emotion out of this and make unemotiomnl decisions. Yes this hurts like hell but its not likely to go away if you continue to do waht you are doing.

[mdoodles]

i just had to go today and see what where was. in all this time, i never once went to find him. it is no where near where we live, totally out of our element.

i have been through this enough, dropped the rope on numerous occasions to be sucked back in, opened the business to get him away from her and that area, he comes home and now this.

i get the dropping the rope, i have done it before. i have pulled back before.

but really, things will never ever change until he makes the change. until he addresses something is wrong.

we have been through this for over 2 1/2 years. he has come home and will most likely go again.

i need to force myself to move on. i guess seeing with my own eyes the area and people he is choosing is what needed to happen.

its completely crazy to me.

[mdoodles]

i am in a terrible terrible bind because of the store.

i cannot continue to fund the store through my own credit card or through my family.

our funding allows him to free up some money to provide and do who knows what for the ow.

so cutting the funding will drive the store to the ground, which will in turn make it nearly impossible to sell to get my money back.

i dont know what to do.

i should have spoken to the ow when she was calling me, most likely she was still getting fed lies and i could have put an end to that.

i just dont know what to do.

there is no time now to just drop the rope and see how everything pans out.

i have to make decisions. pretty permanent decisions and i just dont know how to do that.

i dont know how to see him for what he really truly has become.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Q: What would you do if, yesterday, he had suddenly passed away?

Proceed in similar fashion.

[mdoodles]

ok, if he passed away, i would still need to sell the store, but would have to fund it to keep it running until it sold.

but if i fund it now, i will still be freeing up money i think for him to do other htings and that is not ok.