Can't. It will break the karmic cycle. I'll give you this much: it is a contest in a particular field; it has prize money; but what matters is placing in the top 3. If that happens it could be a total life-changer. But I won't know until August 19, 2 months after WAW moves out.
Hey -- what do you guys think about me asking W to change her name back? I'm not sure I want her dating and whatever else with my handle stuck on.
You are so full of BS. You're the one who was complaining about people reading tea leaves this morning. Suddenly, you're into protecting the karmic cycle? Why don't you just admit that you're embarrassed of the activity?
Women with kids like to keep their names so that they keep the connection with their kids. But, I have one friend who is an unusual case of someone who changed hers back even though she had kids. Wait and see - She might want to change it back on her own. If you push it, it'll probably be another point of conflict that you don't need right now.
I think a lot of women don't change it because of the kids. If D happens, I'm not changing mine. And the rest of that is that it's not up to YOU, it's up to HER. No worries anyway, because if she marries Schmuckatelli, then that will be her new last name...and what a burden THAT is gonna be.
Melissa
PS. Wanted to add this. Some people get on here and criticize us for analyzing/overanalyzing the stitch. But that is what this site is here for. It is the PURPOSE of this site to analyze the stitch and help the marriage, to STOP OUR DIVORCE. It is for that reason that the majority of people get on here to post updates about what has happened in their marriage or divorce that day. Yes, we need to GAL, yes we need to become individuals capable of functioning on our own. No one is debating that. I'm just trying to figure out what else it is ya'll are wanting us to post about or are you just rathering we not post at all? I am not attacking anyone at all or pointing fingers at anyone. It has just been a "overall feeling" I get sometimes. Maybe it is just me. Isn't the first time. Won't be the last time.
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
Some people get on here and criticize us for analyzing/overanalyzing the stitch. But that is what this site is here for. It is the PURPOSE of this site to analyze the stitch and help the marriage, to STOP OUR DIVORCE.
Oh, I'm gonna agree with you big time here. I've seen this quite often. Most of the time I don't think folks realize they are doing it. I think they are trying refocus the individual in most cases but because it is text there is no way to read the emotional intent behind it. Folks for the most part in my case have been really supportive. I personally read my responses in other posts 4-5 times before I submit however.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
Mellenmack and AFWAW - Keep posting, I don't know anyone here except for what I've read. I say keep posting. We're here to get advice and keep everyone updated as you stated. If we don't agree with what someone says that's ok or we wouldn't be on here. Constructive criticism, I say.
I've learned a lot from everyone on this site. Yes, I get frustrated and upset but it's not with you all and your postings. It's with the updates I read from the Spouses. But again, we're all here for a purpose.
I wish I had been here back in November.
Me - 39 W - 39 D - 11 D - 8 S - 5 Served - 04/14/09 Temporary Court Orders - 04/27/09
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
Lucky, in a sense you're right -- I am embarrassed of the activity, but only because it is a literal 180 from anything I was ever trained to do or prepared to do in my life.
And, if I should win, place, or show, it could literally change my life.
But I'm not going to talk about it until August 20. If I win -- anything -- you'll know, and if I lose (which is infinitely likely) you'll know too (assuming you haven't successfully DB'd and beat the odds).
But if I say what it is it will inevitably create a whole discussion I don't want to have. I am incredibly superstitious in this regard.
Just as I am acting "as if" I have accepted the inevitability of the D -- which, judging by W's supremely happy attitude this evening I ought to do regardless -- I am acting "as if" there is a chance I could actually win something.
But I can assure you it's not gambling -- I'm incredibly risk averse in that regard, and the pain of $1 lost is infinitely greater than the pleasure derived from $100 won.
I'm not becoming a gigolo or a bartender or a bouncer, nor am I Dancing With the Stars or trying out for the next Survivor or getting a tattoo (though I confess I've thought about that last one).
What I'm doing is something I dreamed of doing since I can remember. And I'll even give you this much -- it's "arty" or "artistic" (and thus embarrassing).
And that's all me and Forrest are gonna say about that.
