Hello I have been married for 10 years in April and in Jan. of this year my husband changed almost overnight. He became withdrawn and just angry. And yes it seemed to be overnight. A few weeks later I found out he had been talking with another woman who is a friend of mine too. He said he would no longer talk to her and then a week later he left. He says he cares about me but is not in love with me. I have owned up to my issues in the marriage but he says it maybe too late. He wants to be friends but on his terms. He still claims that this woman is just a friend and no longer talks to her unless it is about an outside activity they are both associated with. I do not know him anymore one minute he tells me he wants to be friends and see where it goes the next he said it is not looking good. I have begged him to come home but the truth is now I do not know he has pushed me away I do not know what to do, I read the Divorce Remedy and I have tried all but the 180 I am not sure how to do it. I need some advice. Thanks
Hello mykids, It really is too bad that you are here, but you are among friends and well-wishers here. HAve you frequented the forums for long before you posted? If not, you should be reading some other people's threads. There is a wealth of information, advice, and commiseration in them. Take the bits and pieces that make sense, get some ideas for some 180s in your life, and feel free to jump into any thread that looks like you may want help with, or want to comment on.
Also, so that folks will get to know you, you might want to put a link to your own thread (this one!) in your signature so that interested folks can read your posts and find your main sitch (story). Tell us a little more about your story. Are there kids involved? It sounds very much like your H is having an EA, and maybe even a PA. What do you know about the OW? If she is an acquaintance of yours, have you confronted her?
Again, I'm sorry you are here; this is a very hard time in your life and the lives of your family. Hopefully one of the very wise sages here will jump right in with some hope and suggestions for you.
Last edited by PortlandDad; 03/24/0907:09 PM.
Me40 WAW37 M18 T20 S18,14 D13 EA Bomb 6/08 Sep 11/20/08 Ret 08/09 Sep/Filed 11/09
When I read your post, it was like reading my situation in the beginning.
Have you read many threads on these boards? Sometimes reading someone elses is a lot of help. It might answer some of the questions you may have.
First thing, stop begging him to come home. It won't work. You need to back off and give him space.
Doing a 180 is really easy, all you have to do is the total opposite of what he expects. When you are talking to him, DO NOT mention anything about the relationship. He will get to the point of not wanting to talk to you for fear of getting into a discussion he has no answers for.
Start doing for yourself. Do you work? Have hobbies? Focus on you right now.
Yes, one day at a time and start doing things for yourself (GAL) and enjoy life. sorry you are here and its been mentioned there is a lot of caring people here.
Me-44 WAW-42 (ILYBNILWY) S-16 S-14 M-10/17/1992 T23 Met OM 10/10/08; Bomb 12/27/08; Moved in with OM 01/27/09 Me stronger and happier everyday!
You need to know for sure if there is another woman. I believe it is a whole different ball game at the beginning if there is.
It sre sounds like it. You need to tell us more info if you want help. Your story is sketchy. What are living arangements, how long together, kids, ome life ,etc etc.
If this OW does exist and is married , you need to consider outing her etc. But we jump the gun. give us more info, to work on .
Hello Thank you everyone for replying. Yes I am new to the group. We have been married for 10 years we have 4 kids 3,5,7, and 9. He drives a truck but is currently staying here while he was temp laid off, he will be going back to work on Sunday. We had a pretty up and down marriage but never doubted that he loved me, now he says he loves me but is not in love with me. However he will slip and make comments about the future and us being in it. He will have these days where you think he is hitting rock bottom and then the next day it is as if nothing happened. I know that I need to let go, but how, it hurts! This was the person I was going to spend the rest of my life. However the man I loved is not who he is anymore so why do I hold onto hope that he will come back around. As far as the other girl I have outed her and told her hubby what I thought was going on and she swears that all they did was talk which leads me to beleive it is more and EA then anything which hurts just the same. It drives me crazy not being connected to him like I used to be. We did everything together and talked all the time I lost my husband but my BF too!
