How do you guys deal with "just give up" comments?

[sweet-1]

So I'v emade a conscious decision to fight for the woman I love. Yes, there's an OM, yes, she filed for divorce after only 1 month of being separated, yes, she's paranoid and bitter. But I know this isn't the woman I married, I have made a choice to try and bust this. I love and miss her and the kids are very messed up by it. She is so out of character. But even if we don't ever get back together, in the here and now it feels right in my heart to do this.

How do you guys deal with the "she's not coming back" or the "I won't be able to be in a room with her" (my mother of all people), or the "she's walked away, give up" people? I've stated that if on the off chance (looking slim, but not ready to give up), that we will need to move away from both our families (at least temporarily), to which my parents blew right up, that I'm selfish to take their only grandchildren away so that she can stab me in the back a second time. yada yada yada.

What a crappy feeling when your "support" structure talks klike that about the woman you still love. Maybe I'm being foolish, but in a case like this isn't it better to err on the positive side? I've seen her at her best and now worst, and I still firmly believe I'm doing what's best for my kids and myself. Actually just typing this made me feel better. I know she's worth the fight, and she never gave up on me in tough times (before this).

[MnSPD]

sweet,

This is a good DB excercise for you. I'm assuming communication is one of the core reasons you are here so try this...

Simply tell those nay sayers what your intentions are and why, ASK them to support you if they can and if they can't to please keep the negative comments to themselves.

I heard the same things, but when all was said and done, some of these same people told me how my resolve really stood out.

you are in a defining moment in your life. There is no downside for taking the high road.

Steve

[AFWAW]

I have actually had someone tell me to run. Run as fast as I can from my wife and don't look back as I could face more potential heartache and never be able to trust that person again. I told him that's not what I wanted and being the good friend that he was told me he was concerned about me and that he would pray for me and if it was what I wanted then I needed to pray about it as well. Since then, he has not said one negative thing about it. He has only been supportive. What's the old saying about the worst bringing out the best in people? If this is the best you're getting out of these folks then maybe you're learning something about them as well and the maybe you should discount what they are saying. It would make me consider my relationships with them and if I wanted to continue them. Either that or don't talk to them about the issue as you already know you won't have thier support. Just make sure that you are doing what you want to do and not relying on them for approval.