Saving Military Marriage - 3

[jaguilar]

Yup, I hear you. I feel like I don't know my W. But I'm sure she feels the same way about me right now.

How was your day today? How are those Vegas plans coming along? I trying to convince my best friend from high school to go with me in June.

[FitChik]

My day was ok. Work is stressful right now but will be for awhile. I am learning a lot, which is great!

No more Vegas planning yet. I am also going with my BF from high school! I hope to look into it more this weekend. I am taking a trip in a few weeks up to Whistler, Canada to ski for a few days! It is supposed to have awesome skiing and a really neat place to visit. I am trying to enjoy my free time as much as possible before deploying!

[jaguilar]

You're deploying in a few months right?

[FitChik]

I sure am. Heading to Afghanistan in a few months

[FitChik]

I got a random e-mail from my H asking again for my MC's name & number. What prompted that?? I am guessing one of his brigade's chaplains stopped in and talked with him about our sitch - as they have been trying to do that for months now but it never has happened. And somehow from that conversation, my H has decided to talk with my MC.

I thought one of two things - #1 he is so pissed & angry he will talk with my MC to make it crystal clear is done with our M.... or #2 he could have an honest conversation with the guy about his point of view.

Of course my mind was stuck on #1 all day... but I just realized regardless the purpose, it is still a great opportunity. It's a chance for him to get out his feelings and share his side (which he has told almost nobody about our sitch) and most importantly a chance for God to speak to my H. I am adding their encounter to my prayers! God works in mysterious ways.....

[song]

(((FitChik)))
Mysterious ways...Amen!
Praying for you.

[jaguilar]

Fit,

Don't over think it. Don't push him either, give him the number and let it work itself out.
Keep doing what you're doing.

[No_hill_for_a_Swimmer]

Hey FitChick
Short answer: Validation of their anger without taking it on the chin is good. Yes you determine the boundaries.

I do not get on this site much anymore but I was deployed 4 years ago and got a dear John in the mail so I am somewhat familiar with the territory.

As far as the papers and such make the plantiff do all the work
You probably can drag this out til past your deployment.
Have you talked to a Jag.

I will say i am sorry for your situation I do not wish it on anyone. Trying to save my M while in Al Anbar was like fighting a war with 1/3 of my brain tied behind my back. Yes i did my job and well enough but it was such a struggle that combat was a fine release from the mental anguish. Hated when the bad guys ran from my Marines.

On the other hand upon crossing the great divide reguardless if its due to and IED or Alzeimers I can stand up and say i fought the best i could.

I wish you luck and Michelle's books are worth the read. This site as any marketing device promises more than it delivers but I would be willing to bet the stats of people following Michelle's advice do better than the Hollywood method of pursuing. At absolute worst it will do you good.

I talked to a person a year ago who actually did pay for Michelle's services and stated though she did not wish to stay Married to her X who was filing she felt the difference between the book and Michelle in person was well worth it.

I'd get you other books am on TAD out of town for a bit. (Am in the reserves and do Active time whenever)

Have a good one
No_Hill

[FitChik]

Thanks Song!

Funny thing is I was pessimistic about my H's intentions all day long. But it hit me like a ton of bricks tonight that regardless of his intents, it is a great opportunity and I believe God will use it in some way. If nothing else, it will give my H a release and hopefully help him out a little bit.

I will not bring it up to H. I never once have pushed him about it and he keeps mentioning it to me....

[FitChik]

No Hill,

Thanks for your response.

I have talked with Jag. I probably can drag it out in accordance to a military act that prevents proceedings while deployed. I have that option and am unsure if I will exercise it right now.

I feel for all of our military members going through hard times with their families - as it is very, very common. Deployments are hard enough without extra stresses at home. I respect your ability to endure both.

Thank you for your service No Hill!