We have been separated for over two years (since October 2006). I dearly love my wife and a daughter. My mistake at a separation was that I did not go dark. I was still around sometimes (not to often) begging her to reconcile. Staying with our daughter all my free time. Doing anything to please her. Thinking what can I do to please her. Bringing her flowers occasionally and getting cold shower. Sometimes, during the first year of separation she would suggestively say that we may reconcile if i realize how truly bad I was and next day she would say that everything is over. Now I bought a house, because of her of course, so she may want to move in. Because my landlord did not offer me other than a annual lease I moved to her place till the closing,- it will be on March 20th. Even the closing I made on her B-day. My wife is studying now for a nurse degree. So she has a lot of students around. Smb, may be a student calls her every night around 11, so she goes into a walk in-closet (!) a most distant place in her apartment, and they talk really long, an hour or so. Every night. Few days ago she went out as she said "to have some wine" at 11 pm and was out till 1 am. Today we both stayed home, she took a day off and I got a pneumonia. She told me she is going shopping to pick a present for our friend. Then, by accident, I entered her bedroom and saw her in the closet. Talking by phone. Then she told me that she will not return earlier then in three hours and left. What I do now is trying to play like nothing is going wrong. And also pray a lot. But what else to do??? My biggest desire is to find this guy and give him a piece of my mind. Obviously he would need a long stay in the hospital afterwords. This is so stupid and painful, any ideas? Me- 37 Wife 35 Daughter 4 Married 15 years, separated 2 I love them so so much
P.S. I did not have any sex for 2.5 years and she knows this.
Nothing was agreed. It is easy for me to confront other guy, I can find his address if I check her phone for the received calls. How can I confront her? She told me many times that everything is over. If I tell her how wrong she is she would tell me again the same thing I afraid.
I do not like confronting anybody. Here is a thing I really love my wife. And I put my family above everything else. For him she can be a toy, he will spend with her few months and our family can be damaged beyond the return point. That is why i think i have to confront him
If you feel this strongly about it, why didn't you lay out a boundary with your wife at the time of your separation whereby you were each not allowed to date other people while you were still married?
I do think you can -- even now -- establish a boundary that she doesn't call or text him from inside of your own home. That's incredibly disrespectful.
We live at her apartment now. She did not say that she will move in with me. In fact she keeps saying the opposite but I act as we are going to be together no matter what, already for two and half years. I just gave her a call and said that while she is shopping she may buy a small thing for me. She answered immediately, so she is probably outside, with her purse. In fact I wanted to break their conversation, that is why I called. She said that she has the thing I want at home, so she is probably not shopping, in fact. She sounded a little annoyed too.
I would make the arrangements with her, but she does not want to hear of reconciling. She says we will be friends. That is it. How to make such arrangements if, while admitting that I changed a lot and I care much about her, and that I am an excellent father she says that everything is over
