I have come here to confess to having been unfaithful. I had s@x with J (OM) tonight, and it was the most terrible thing I have ever done !!!! I had drunk a lot of champagne, cause I think I knew that I would otherwise NOT be attracted to him. Well, after I was drunk, we lay on the bed, and yes, we had s@x...he was a selfish lover....my H never was...anyway... I feel terrible that I even let it get to that stage...when I got home I showered for hours and then sent H a TM saying my date had been horrid, as it was horrible to sleep with another man....he sent a TM back saying he hoped the rest of the evening had been ok. I wrote back 'nope'...
I was still too tipsy...I shouldn't have written H, I shouldn't have gone to bed with J...
I will now go to bed and pray for forgiveness ...
I cannot believe that a person with such principles has done this....I am so ashamed !!!!
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Cinders, Don't beat yourself up. My concern is for your safety. I do hope that you practiced "safe" sex. If you didn't, you'll need to see your doctor as soon as possible. Hopefully you've not contract something.
Isn't this the same guy you weren't going to lead on? Well...now you've got to find a way to end this situation if you are not interested in him. BTW, you aren't the first to have this happen and you surely will not be the last. I would find a way to end it and soon. This guy knew you were ripe for the picking.
Cinders, again, don't beat yourself up.
P.S., if it happens again, don't tell your h about it. Okay?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I am sorry for your pain. But please do not be so hard on yourself. We all do things we regret, we are ashamed of, but sometimes, it is the only way to learn a lesson.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Snodderly....it wasn't exactly very safe sex no....so I will be visiting the doctor. I am so ashamed... I NEVER thought I would do ANYTHING like this.... I did tell him afterwards that this is too soon I just feel terrible about this....
I have been praying to God that I have not contracted anything horrible, ...so that I may not see my kids grow up.... I am scared, ashamed and feel stupid and foolish.
LolaL, thank you for your hugs, I really need them, as I feel a total looser....H was my only lover ever and now I went and ruined it by doing this....
I'm sorry that I have let everyone down and especially myself.
Snodderly....this won't happen again...but I know that I shouldn't have sent H a TM...there was just no one else...he was the only one who knew I was out on a date. And he had wished me so much luck and fun....now I have to face H tomorrow as a total looser....
I am so embarassed....so ashamed. Forgive me God, for I have sinned.
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Cinders, It happens, especially when we are emotional and have been drinking too much alcohol. Things just happen this way sometimes.
You are not a loser! You are a normal human being that had things get out of hand. Now you know that you can't drink much when you are out there testing the waters of dating. You know what? I wouldn't worry about your h and facing him tomorrow....let it go. He's not your father and he certainly can't judge you because he's been doing doings for a long time.
Cinders, God will forgive you. Again, you are only human. We all make mistakes. You've got to forgive yourself and accept the fact that you made a mistake and let go. If you don't, it's going to eat you alive.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
