Morning All- Supposed to be 60 today, but it is very windy, and still pretty chilly now. Ran some errands this morning. H told me he will be out of town this weekend...going to the zoo. It turned my raft over last night. I am better today.
Hope everyone has a great Friday and a nice weekend!
Hi MT, I'm sorry that your raft turned over yesterday, but I'm glad that you survived. You're too strong to drown, and you have many people that love and need you.
I know that your sitch is painful and impossible to understand now. God won't leave you. Keep your faith strong.
I love you girlfriend.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
Feeling a bit down today. I had hoped to hear from H when he was gone this weekend, taking it that he didn't miss me enough to call every night like he did OW when we were on vacation. At least that is how it feels. I know I shouldn't have expectations. Don't know if they are expectations or if they are just me thinking he has made his choice, and it isn't me. Went with Tiffany and her daughter to do some shopping. It was fun and I got out of the house, but didn't improve my mood much, like it usually does.
I am better when I am at work and have more things to keep my mind occupied. The 4 day work week, that I have always wanted is great except I am not required to be sunshine for 3 days then, and especially this weekend when I know H is off with OW and kids, it was really hard. H seems to think he will have an answer to what he wants by the end of the month. He may say he loves me more than anything in the world, but his actions speak louder than words right now. So I guess that is why I am just floating, I sorta feel like a bobber and there is a channel cat rolling at the end of the line trying not to get landed. I am also very ready for warm weather, this gloomy coolish weather is just not what I want right now!
Last night I felt like I was just losing it. I couldn't sleep and just tossed and turned, and felt like I am going crazy. I couldn't stop thinking over and over in my head, God Help Me.
H called me this morning, when I was getting ready. I didn't answer my cell but i picked up when he called the regular phone. You know I was disappointed he didn't call me all weekend. But when he calls I was just quiet, if I am not excited and my normal, well what is normal anymore, self he assumes I am mad. He asked if I was mad I said no not really. I said I was just surprised to hear from you. He said you seem like your mad. I asked how his weekend was, he said not very good. I said sorry How come? Now you know what i would have loved to hear was the kids were awful and I missed you so much. LOL. Yes, I am an idiot. But H says I was sicker than a dog all weekend. I said what from? H says, I think I got food poisoning. Ok, now my personality automatically makes me think....Damn Karma is a B*tch. LMAO! No I didn't say anything. But H just says I will just talk to you later. I told him I got SD's check back that I mailed to her a week ago at her mom's that she never got. I went online and paid her phone bill for her on Friday, when she hadn't gotten it yet. So we discussed what to do with her and her money needs. I asked him what he wanted to talk about, on my cell phone he left a VM saying that he wanted to talk. H said nothing, I just wanted to hear your voice. (If you wanted to hear it so bad...why not call on the weekend?) I said Oh, I thought maybe there was something you wanted to talk about. H said no, just missed you. I said missed hearing from you too.
He is supposed to start working tonight on installing my Mom and Dad's water softener. My mom and dad called last night 2 times, but never answered, I figured they were going to ask about him working,and I really didn't want to talk to them. I know that was terrible.
MT-that wasn't terrible. Sometimes we just can't talk to people.
Yes my friend, Karma is a Bi***. LOL. So good he didn't have a good weekend. I know that is harsh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had not such a good weekend either. They will get better. They just have to. I don't know what to say about SD money stuff except that she is 24. Time to cut the strings?
I almost find it funny anymore when they think they have a clue what is going on in our heads. If you are upbeat, you are happy without him, if you aren't then that isn't good either. Just no clue. Ok going into the real world cuz I want to say something way to much for here.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
I almost wish he wouldn't have been sick and just not have a great weekend for other reasons...which who knows he may have not enjoyed it for other reasons too, just didn't share those with me at that point.
I am really not sure if I am supposed to ask about his weekend and what he did. I always wondered what he and OW talked about when we were gone on vacation. Did she ask what we had been doing, where we went? He says he doesn't talk to her about me.
