Well thank you {{{Silva}}} For the batsignal..I didn't know my thread had locked
Anyway..a pretty drama free day, which is good..stayed home all day and lazed around, have to work Mon and Tues 12 hr days, so I figured I'd chill out while I could
Hub came home at a semi decent hour, was all "nicey" to me and asked me about S12 still wanting a futon, that he had found one on craig's list, stuff like that..I was short and sweet LOL..wasn't really acting on that one..just was like "ok.."
I had decided last night, which I know sounds crazy and ridiculous to do LOL, but I just got this unction to look at my wedding video, because in my brain I keep hearing hub say "it's all been a lie, even on our wedding day I was questioning this"..so..I watched some of it..not all, and saw this GUY who definitely loved me at that time..of course I KNOW he did in my heart, but I just wanted to see that guy at least one more time It was okay..didn't really mess with my brain too badly to watch it!
Anyway..that's about the extent of my day!
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
I hear you about wanting to check out your memories after they say "it's always been bad." I was going through old photos looking for something from hs and ended up sorting out xBF's pics from mine. Went through packet after packet of pics of us together on vacation and at home. So that's not you smiling, laughing, having a great time in the photos? Whatever. Good thing is that I know we were having fun even if he refuses to admit it now.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
Pretty much same here - I'm actually sort of tired from skating. Getting old!
It was funny, W told D8 she only married me because she was pregnant - pretty sad when you get that desperate. Pregnant part was true, about a month before we got married, but I asked and she said yes long before that, and I told D8 that. I usually don't say anything, but I won't let D8 believe lies.
It seems like those in affairs are the worst about it - they say the STUPIDEST stuff to try to justify it. I have thought many times - "Look, just own up to it. It's insulting." And, then, don't try to be "nice" to me on top of it, that's just heaping the insults on!
Have a great week! Good for you for not letting the syrupy stuff in. You saw the text I got - it was actually very difficult not to respond. So proud of you for hanging in strong!
Aww thanks {{{JD}}} yeah I kinda feel like you said today, like "why are you trying to be nice to me?" LOL..which is funny cause of course we WANT them to be nice to us..I think it's that we never KNOW are we getting Mr/Mrs Nice or Mr/Mrs Cranky or Jerky..and so we have our defensive walls up too and we think, ok, should we let OUR guard down while they are being nice? LOL..sucks to have to think that way every time you have a convo isn't it?
I hope you have a great week too! Trying to hang with the strength and honor
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
I totally get where you are about talking. I don't think anyway any mor though, the only converations we have had over the last 2 weeks have been 3mins and 7 mins and just about MIL. At the end of the call, I just put the phone down and got on with what I was doing. I don't analyse anymore. It's a pointless excersise.
My sitch is different though, W knows she was happy for a long time, she just 'fell out of love'. At first she told me she had been unhappy for most of the time, now she says she can look back fondly at the good times. I have accepted that and am just letting her get on with the rest of her life.
Anyhoo...Don't go wearing yourself out with 2 days of work. We need your smiling face on here
Tawnya, You are so lucky to have a video. We didn't have one so I can't watch anything now. Glad to hear that you have come so far and didn't cry watching it. You must have done a lot of work internally to be so strong. Be proud of yourself!
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
Tawnya, Glad to hear you were able to relax this weekend, We all need that from time to time. I had a crappy weekend at work, but otherwise uneventful.
{{Silva}}} Glad you saw my bat signal and found your way..yes 10 threads..I am nothing if not yappy Always have been..I was one of those in school who got the comments that said "Tawnya is a good student, but she needs to not talk so much" I totally should NOT analyze..but I just wanted to see the "evidence" for myself.
{{PM}} Yes at some point I will really be glad I have the video and, like I said, I couldn't watch all of it, but I tried to look at it as "two people" not me and hub, if that makes sense..because, in reality, of course we are not really the same people that we were then..who is? LOL I will take the "internally strong" comment tho..thank you!
{{Son}} Aww my friend, sorry your weekend was crummy and hope your week has started off better!
{{T}} Thank you..smiling and waving back to you..hope your week is full of blessings and happiness! Peace, blessings, and prayers back atcha
{{{V}}} Aww I would totally be your valentine..but we may have to reschedule the "date"..I have to work half a day on V Day..which is sad..but true
I am good..got to watch Heroes with my daughter and then we were looking at hairstyles and pics online for a while..so that was fun and light Work was LONG and tiring and have another 12 hour day to go tomorrow..but I am VERYYYY thankful that I'm healthy and doing well..my mom (who works at the clinic too) and a coworker of mine have both been sick for like 1 1/2 weeks and a lot of patients are coming in with the sinus/flu/cold/strep stuff..
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Always have been..I was one of those in school who got the comments that said "Tawnya is a good student, but she needs to not talk so much" 
I totally should NOT analyze..but I just wanted to see the "evidence" for myself.