I talked about how things seemed to be moving too fast.... How Fast is Normal
Well the sbtx starts "sexting" me about an hour ago. Started pretty tamely, then she took off like a porn star. You know how the mind works, so out of the blue, I start remembering all of the hundreds of texts she was sending to the OM she supposedly gave up. Needless to say, it kind of ruined the mood.
She told me I need to stop being so "serious" Of course I am thinking about how this was the crap she was sharing with him while I was in the dumpster. Any advice on how to mentally block that?
I can't be the guy I was. Why would I want to. I don't want to go back to the way things were. That's what got me here.
Tell her. Be open. Face your fears. What's the worst that can happen, she'll divorce you?
Have you read "Not Just Friends"? It's a great book which provides insight behind each person affected by an affair (the betrayed, the wayward and the other partner) along with steps on how to reconnect with your spouse.
OK, first your not blowing anything. Just try to keep those feelings to yourself. If you make a huge deal of it with her, it probably will blow up on your face. Not fair but that is the way it usually goes. So far you seem to be doing pretty well.
Now a glass half full guy would say I've apparently got my mate back and she is sending me sexy texts. A glass half full guy might say, huh, she suggested the marriage fixer weekend, now she is sending me sexy texts...maybe she read a book or got some ideas and is trying to hot up our marriage a bit. Enjoy what you DO have. Keep your eyes open for anything fishy. Read around this place. Most people would give a mint to be where you are right now.
Keep all your posts in one thread. You will lose people by starting multiple threads.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
Thank you. I am working to keep all the negs out of my head. Maybe that's what scared me so much, it was getting very positive. I need to be that guy for her and stop worrying about the guy who was doing it. If she didnt want me to be that guy, she wouldnt be taking these steps with me. Just have to remember that.
I can't be the guy I was. Why would I want to. I don't want to go back to the way things were. That's what got me here.
Man am I realizing how stupid I am...falling into the same old mental traps. She suggested MC, she told me she wants the "fun" me back, she starts playing with the naughty texts. What do I do, I worry about crap! What an idiot. I need to figure out how to live in the moment.
I can't be the guy I was. Why would I want to. I don't want to go back to the way things were. That's what got me here.
