Its been a few days since my last post. Just wanted to report that things are continuing to go pretty well.
Yesterday was my birthday and wife invited me to her apartment and we had a nice time. Every time we see or speak to one another since Jan 12th, its been very positive.
Its kind of difficult to not 'rush' back into things. We have both been pretty liberal about discussing our futures together and being affectionate with each other like we 1st met. And the sex has been unearthly! We are both surprised at how good its been, and this has easily encouraged a very rapid rebuilding of intimacy
The only time things get close to uncomfortable is when we remind each other that we have some pretty important work to do 1st before we get too ahead of ourselves planning a new improved life together. She waivers a little bit on the idea of how difficult the work is going to be.
The main difficulty is dealing with my feelings of betrayal and broken trust over the affair. However, when it comes to every other aspect of my W, I do not have trust issues. Only when it comes to OM - I still pretty much cant believe a word she says about him. Pretty much never says anything good about him to me, but if thats the case, why have an EA over a year that morphs into PA at 1st opportunity? Doesnt make any sense, so its pretty clear to me she is not honest about her feelings for OM. Or maybe she is waiting for our MC appointments to come clean 1st, not feeling comfortable to confess her feelings for him without mediation.
We really try not to discuss the affair, but we both know uncomfortable questions/answers are going to come up in MC. We do touch on the problems we had in our relationship - but the focus is on the solutions moreso than the problems. We focused on our problems for so long, obviously did not get us anywhere.
The main theme these days is optimism that we are both finally on the same page at the same time. And a commitment to simply enjoying one another's company and trying our best to keep things light. There is still a sense of wonder and amazement this is happening to us because we both had given up hope and I honestly thought D would have been filed by now if it wasnt for her miraculous last second change of heart. She still cant explain it, but I dont care how she had change of heart, just glad she did!
So DBers - keep at it! This has been the most difficult experience of my life, and I made many many mistakes along the way and still not 100% out of the woods just yet. But I keep getting up and DBing whenever I fall and things are looking pretty good.
There is hope, even in the darkest hour - just keep fighting the good fight!
And even if it doesnt turn out as desired, I knew 100% I was a better man heading forward in life and knew I could be content and happy without her - and you can have that for yourself too.
Just keep at it!
Me: 37 Wife: 40 Son: 7yo Son: 18 mo Bomb: 12/31/07 Status: Reconciled 1/2009 but backsliding terribly right now
