Now don't get your hopes up! It does seem that things are coming to a head. It will have to play out in your h's time. I knew he wouldn't be out of the country for long.
What you read about MLC is what my H told me. When he was in the midst of it, he kept looking for that "happiness" and little did he know it was right under his nose for 20 plus years!
Everything you wrote in your update is not at all surprising. Your Ex is unhappy living in another country, is returning, and OW is showing her true colours. Now he will be looking for a job and living in SIL's house with OW. I bet that will be really interesting. What a great life he has made for himself!!!
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
I'm trying not to get my hopes up, I'm really uneasy about everything right now. I don't want OW close to me! They will be about 3 hours away now, which is nothing compared to where they have been.
I'm trying not to expect anything, but I think you are right & it does seem like it is coming to a head.
I hope my ex will start to understand, since he has been all over the world looking for happiness I hope he will realize that it was right here all along.
You, snodderly & YR give great advice, you have been thru it & have great inspiration for us all!!
I have been working on GAL, a friend of mine wanted me to meet her for a drink (tea)about 5:30 today, it wound up she wanted me to meet this guy! Well, he was really nice, not too bad looking, the same first name as my ex but it was all right. I don't want to date, I'm not interested in dating but it's nice to have some friends I can do things with. Then after I met them there is a special church meeting this weekend that started tonight, that's why I put tea in there b/c that is all we had to drink. So, I'll also go to that preaching service again tomorrow. I also volunteered for a charity next week to help stuff grab bags & then another girl friend & I are going to dinner next week. This is the most I've done in a long time.
I really had a bad set back after my dog died & after the emails from OW but at least I'm trying.
True, you are giving me inspiration to get out more!!!
N, Set backs happen, but you had a lot going on w/your pup dying and then the ow doing her emails, etc., but you know what? You survived and are going to be okay. Yes, it hurts terribly that your pup is gone, but the memories will carry you through some of the darkest days you'll ever know. Pull them out whenever you are hurting...those memories will comfort you.
As for the ow, she's a side order in his life and that house of cards built on a sand dune, well.....it's already starting to tumble down. I don't think they realize just how tough it is to find work right now. It's not just in your area, but all over. I don't think his family will be happy to have them stay w/them for a long period of time and you know what? They all need to really see what is going on.
As for you n, you are going to be okay. Don't rush the process. The activities that you are going to be doing are a great way to get back into the thick of things. Take your time, choose what you want to do and just enjoy. Healing takes a very long time and you have to do it on your clock, not theirs or ours.
Hugs!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I am so glad you are getting out and doing things. This is so important to your PMA. Like you said, you may not be ready to date right now but it's nice to get out with other people. Take your time but do try to get out and do things.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Checking on you NLT. I see your h is coming back to the states. Exactly as we predicted. I have spent time over seas and it is a different life. You see he was working a lot and not spending time with ow like one would think.
You are right. Job market is tough right now. What will happen when the money runs out? Will ow want more than a poor h? How long will SIL allow them to stay? That should be a real picnic.
I understand your concern about them returning, 3 hours away is not much distance between, but continue to take care of yourself and stay strong. If ow were so happy she wouldn't have sent those e-mails. We know it's just a matter of time. What happens when she is on your h's back to make money? Hmmmmm it's all sounding so good right now.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
I am happy for you that you were able to do so many nice things. I find it also nice of your friends to want to matchmake although it is too early for you as you say. But at least you have friends who are looking out for you.
Thank you for your kind words - I am glad that I am giving you inspiration to get out more.
