I guess my first thread is locked. I must be a regular now. Not sure how to add the first thread string onto this though. Can anyone tell me?
Still no answer from my wife on whether we can try separation. I swear its like pulling teeth.
This has to be about her wanting to be with OM. I have never seen her struggle so much with any kind of option that could help us. I can't get a yes on anything. Even separation. Its just flat out divorce and no other option.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Wish I could tell you how! I saw it somewhere once, but not again since then...technical issues, maybe.
I know you worry about not pushing your wife cause you have so little time. It would be a 180 for her to see you "give up", to drop the rope. To just let her go. I know it goes against our nature. But I don't wonder if right now, it is just too much chasing for her. Take the kids out or go out yourself. Come home later than her. Don't volunteer any info. GAL!!! She doesn't realize that you WILL be 100% perfectly fine without her.
One other thing about her dad. Ugh. I hate this about my parents. They feel like they see everything I have put up with for the last 13 years. I know they have seen/listened to a lot. Part of me feels like they don't know because they weren't there. Part of me feels like they can't be objective. Part of me feels like I can't be objective. They don't hate H. But they hate what he has reduced me to. They hate that I was willing to accept hanging out with his buds drinking. They hate that I was willing to put up with him driving home drunk. They hate that he didn't take better care of our marriage so that I felt forced to seek what I was missing from outside the marriage. They know how long I waited for him to stop drinking. They know how miserable I have been not being treated as an equal partner in this M. But still. They actually want me to get this D. I hate that. What does that say about them??? And if her dad is telling her the same thing, it is hard for her, too. Ultimately, I know that my parents have a biased opinion and so that negates what they want, in my mind. I will consider their opinion. But I WILL NOT do as they wish simply because they wish it. I am far more intelligent than that. But maybe your W is in somewhat the same stitch, and since her dad is telling her get out, she is listening. What our parents want for is very powerful. But it shouldn't get to ride roughshod over what we, as individuals know is right.
Issues, did you say???
We got 'em!!!
I'm serious. I'd lay down the rope as Wifey likes to say. You want her to choose you, not be forced into you.
Mel
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
Good points. Ya, her dad feels like I have reduced her over the years. And I am aware of the mistakes I made. I just can't seem to fix them now. Let me rephrase. I am fixing them, but I can't seem to get her to accept me fixing them.
I actually spend most of the time on the weekends with the kids. She is gone more often than not at her best friends house or with another friend of hers. I do need to go out more. The last time I was going to go out, me and W got into an arguement because she through the D at me again and I had been patient for so long and quiet I finally let my frusturations show. Didn't use my DBing techniques obviously at that moment. I'm sure that set me back quite a bit. I ended up not going out that night because I was frusturated and hurt. The time before that I was supposed to go out with a buddy and he ended up getting sick. lol. I just got offered AC/DC tickets for this Friday and a friend of mine just told me he can't make it. So I don't know if I will be doing anything or not this weekend. My luck, my W will go to her best friends house again and leave the kids with me. I will have to figure out how to entertain them again. Not that I don't love them and enjoy them. But I do seem to get put with them every weekend pretty much eliminating most ideas of plans. My W never misses an opportunity to be gone. She is such a sweetie. Sarcasm there. lol.
I'll figure out something to do this weekend somehow. What about you, are you GAL?
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I just created my 3rd string back in new comers. Its Divorce looming #3. I will attach this one and the first one shortly.
Thanks for pointing that out to me.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
