I see that my sitch is ready to "lock up" so I am starting a new thread. My previous thread was called "losing my sanity" but I have changed it to "Keeping my sanity" -- hopefully a step up.
Just came from Al-anon meeting. It has been good for me. No matter what happens with H I still need to stop this cycle of drinking now and help my Ds.
I used to think that my H had an A and started to drink, now I realize he was drinking and started the A. He is actually dual addicted to both the A and to alcohol.
The next few weeks will be difficult waiting to hear about the exposure at work and the D.
Oned day at a time.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Think the exposure is going to "hit the fan". Talked to someone in the main headquarters and she mentioned that she heard there was some type of incident at our location that was unethical. Did I know anything about it? Played dumb. She does know H and me were seperated. I know it is the right thing to do but it is definitely not easy. Just trying to stay calm and keep praying.
H still is very committed to OW. Very deep in the fog. I know he is trying to push this D so that everyone "could get over it", but it doesn't work that way. Sad times.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
He is right in the midst of the 'highs' of the new R with OW. You need not only for the sh!t to hit the fan....but also to give it time for all those feel good endorphins to wear off so your H starts to see the down sides to all of this.
(((((HUGS)))))
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Saffie, you are so right. I see H at meeting tomorrow along with PM who I exposed to. Should be interesting and stressful. Had a bad moment today. I was grocery shopping, turned the corner and saw all those valentine cards, presents and burst out in tears. Like out of nowhere. Good thing I had my sunglasses and that I ran into no one! I got a grip on it after a minute or so. Need to stay strong. Still saying my 2 word prayers to God Chase him Break him Redeem him Save him.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hope, Sorry to hear about the incident at the grocery store. Believe me we have all had those kind of meltdowns. I remember one time right after H left being in a restaurant having to fight back tears because there were lots of families in there getting ready to go to the college football game. They had their fan shirts on. I knew that my H and youngest DD were attending it together. It hurt me to see all of those familes together having a good time together getting ready for the game. Actually on the way home I did start crying after I got out of the restaurant. My oldest DD thought it was something she had done. I eventually went on ADs to help me cope better.
Please filll us in soon and let us know how the meeting goes. I'll be thinking of you.
By the way I like your prayer.
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
had to go over to building where OW works. Found out she has been out the last 2 days. Coworker thought she was "sick", not sure what is going on. I was hoping she was suspended but I know H is around so they would not just suspend her. Maybe she is interviewing for another job. hhhhhmmmmm
I feel better today. Yoyo, it is so true how something will set you off like seeing a family together. Pretty sad. It has been a challenge lately. One day at a time, some days it is one minute at a time.
Take care everyone.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
This week has been tough. H texts me on Thursday asking if I got atty otherwise he was going to serve me. I call H, tell him I have interviewed a few attys and will have one. H says you are delaying this, and I said no I am living my life, D15 had been sick with flu for 3 days (it has been over a month since he saw her), and I had out of state visitors at work all week. All H has to worry about is the D while I have been taking care of house, D etc. He was almost obsessing.
H says I will give you to Wed or otherwise I will serve you (go ahead atty said just wait till I get served and then we will act upon it). H is in his own fog world babble.
Think H and OW will have more to worry about than the D. Seems rumors are going around at work about them. The comment was "they were caught with their pants down" WTH is that supposed to mean but I do not think their jobs will be here too much longer. What a shame you build up a career and give it away because of that bimbo. Sad
Gearing up for the poor times.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hi Hope, I think your H's world will close in on him soon. Sorry to hear he's being such an a$$ to you. It is amazing that when they become a WAS they also become a WAP. My H wasn't quite as bad as your H about seeing my girls, but he didn't spend any time with them, just a phone call here and there. He's gotten much better now. Right now your H is so wrapped in OW that she is consuming him. I have a feeling he's about to find out what a "prize" she is. Has your supervisor spoken to you anymore about their conduct?
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
