Should I encourage W to participate on this site?

[frank_D]

Dude, I've been here a long, long time.

In my experience, it has never been beneficial for the WAS to see the personal / private stuff you have posted about them.

Even though we know it's anonymous, they see it as you being critical of them, and betraying them.

Do not ever expose this forum to them. It's like telling them all the conversations you had with your brother / sister/ uncle/ aunt/ mom / dad.

That is between you and whomever you are talking to, in this case 'us'.

[frank_D]

I am an absolute believer in the things I have learned here. They work! Thats why I was wondering if I should encourage W to participate here as well. I wouldnt want her to waste time on something I didnt think had any merit.

She's not 'divorce busting'. You are. She is trying to 'return'. She needs therapy to help her.

If she were to join 'db' she'd open a can of worms that she is not ready to deal with.

[EnergyAZ]

I understand and will encourage her to find an alternative.

Its just that she doesnt seem to fully understand...herself. The term WAW meant nothing to her until I explained it, the look on her face was very telling.

She is NOT the only WAW in the world, her feelings about wanting to leave in the first place are not unique only to her. She is not alone. There are women who could easily relate to her. She seems to think that because everyone is different, relationships are different and no two alike. I think she would be stunned to see how familiar our issues truly are in comparison.

And then (like me) feel hopeful to see how others got themselves back on track.

Our issues are not unique, and there are many blueprints out there to help get over it.


She is a very smart woman but is pretty much clueless about how to maintain a happy relationship - for her - once things get tough, the tough get quitting. She doesnt realize how easy the 'work' can actually be when both people are on the same page.

But I fully understand what you are saying here and will not encourage her to visit this particular site.

[sandi2]

(cause she was WAW and wouldnt have come here anyway)

Oh really?? Hummmmm. I did.