What next?

[Strongerthanthis]

Hi All,

Not sure how to link up previous posts but basics, waw at 40 EA summer 06, miscarrage, jan 07, ILYBNILWY Jan 07, seperated Jan 07, A August 07 (turned PA, not sure when but just admitted Dec 08) Two children 10 and 7. together 20years Married 12.

I'm in the UK and can file this month having been seperated two years.

Really still confused after all this, It's the revelation of the OM in Dec that changed things for me I always thought we would make it. Have become best friends (unkowning OM was there) now completely backed of as can't look at her the same 20 years replaced in 6 months. Aa I am finally backing off she always make s contact always about children but wants to draw out the conversation.

About the OM when she told me I tried to play it cool, yeah we've seperated 2 years (I did see someone for six months in the summer) but shocked when I ended up as a lodger in a room living out of a bag she was seeing someone else. I now have a nice house with a room each for my children.javascript: x();

After she told me I could nt speak to her, she came round cried said I looked at her like a whore, said it was one drunken night and realised she did nt want a relationship. I'm not green if a guy is with someone for nearly 18months its not because you only slept together once. So bottom line she's lying has done for over 2 and 1/2 years but I still love her.

just to add, a week later she said it had finished as she had to much to cope with. Is this BS as she regreted telling me and does nt want to hurt my feelings? did she say this because it's true? or did she say this because she wants me to still like her? Does it matter whatever the truth is?

What next do I proceed with D in two weeks, or keep not contacting her after rebuilding friendship and let her see what she will lose of after this amount of time just accept she's not MLC but jus done.

For the record, I am happy with my life and doing lots of GAL and only want her back if she is fully committed. Any thoughts would really help.

cheers
Charlie

[Jack_Three_Beans]

For the record, I am happy with my life and doing lots of GAL and only want her back if she is fully committed. Any thoughts would really help.

If that is true, then you're ahead of alot of people here. I don't know what to add. I try to help people get to this particular place where you are at.

The questions where you wonder what she is thinking...don't know, and don't trust anyone who tells you what she is thinking, they aren't her.

You asked a fantastic question.

Does it matter what the truth is?

While I personally think the truth is always important, after a time the questions I thought I NEEDED answers too I found no longer mattered.

So on one hand, yes the truth matters, on the other hand some of your questions don't, or won't.

I cannot tell you what she is thinking, or why she does what she does. But if you are happy with your life, then you are in the best place possible to direct your future, and whether or not she is a part of it.

[Strongerthanthis]

Thank you Jack Three Beans for your advice it's apreciated.

When I say I'm happy with my life, I am now I am doing more creative work (I'm an illustrator / Graphic Designer) I have a really nice house which I can give a home to my children. When we seperated I left the car for my w and children, ended up renting a room for 6 months then a one bed flat for another 6 months but now have a 'home'as with most of the people on here I had to start again with nothing. That's not a sob story just to give a perspective.

There is still a sadness inside me not being with my W and my children having to go through their parents break up.

It's weird, tonight after dropping my daughter back from school my W offered me a coffee as she always does. I asked her with a smile have you heard from the 'Mummy's Boy' (OM is 36 and still lives at home with his parents!) She laughed and said "that's not very nice to call him that" I know I should n't have even asked about him but quite suprised she saw my jab at him as funny and did n't get angry with me.

I must get to the place where as you say the questions I needed answers no longer mattered.

I will work on not asking her anything and truly arrive at the place where it does nt matter.

Thanks again for your time.

cheers
Charlie