Sounds like you handled it really well. It cannot have been easy to have that conversation. As you said you must be feeling a complete mix of things. If you need support/ help with anything you know all you have to do is post.
Take time for you. I hope you are going to do something nice for yourself today.
Wow...Jeff, I'm so sorry...I know the mixed emotions you are facing and feeling...what a relief/yet sorrowful outcome. I agree with the girls...you will be happy again! You deserve it! The ride isn't over but maybe you can see light at the end of the tunnel?!
I'm here for you always...you know that...
You have been such a support to all of us...you know we're all here for you whenever you need us.
I'm glad you will still be going to see the C with W...I think that you both need that to help with the tasks ahead and with closure if that's where this path leads you.
Telling the kids won't be easy, but kids are resiliant and bounce back quickly. I remember when my parents told me they were getting a D...I remember being very angry and upset about it and then remember helping my dad sort things out in the garage the same day...I think it was his way of helping me come to terms with things and we divided things up into both sides of the garage. Other than that, I don't remember much about the D...I never thought they would get back together...nor did I wish it...I was 13. I don't even remember things being bad between them through the years prior, except that my mom slept on the couch alot...never heard them fight or have arguments in front of us. Anyway, my point is...the kids will be able to adjust. They need to know you both love them no matter what and that you are both there for them always....they will be fine.
Hugs...you know where to reach me...you are in my thoughts and prayers.
((((((((((((Jeff)))))))))) I'm so sorry.
BA
Me:43 H:48 M:24 yrs T: 26 yrs 2 kids ILYNILWYA 8-07 - MOW 9-07 H moved out 8-2-08 Back 8-18-08 Affair continues Back home but not emotionally
I'm so sorry it has come to this but maybe it needed to take this long so that you would know without a doubt that you did everything you could.
You are not a failure by any means. You tried, you talked, you bettered yourself, you grew! She stayed the same because she had left the M a LONG time ago. You will undoubtedly be all the better for the work you have done.
When will you tell the kids?
You know I am here to support you whenever you need anything at all.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Hey Jeff. wow. big hugs for you my friend. you didnt fail. you worked your butt off, more than alot of people would have. THAT makes you a better man. someday you will feel it.
I agree with kalani, the eclipse is a new start on life.
love and hugs my dear friend.
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
Well, going to bed at 1:30 didn't work! I listened to the whole album that I usually fall asleep to. (Usually in the first song!) So I got up, played some Word Twist, and finally sent back to bed a 3:30! It's a good things I'm going to be a work late (10 or so) so I don't need to get there for a while!
Oh, I forgot to list scared in the list of emotions!
I don't know when we will tell the kids. I expect it will be after we see the C, I have a feeling that will be one of the topics. I'll probably talk to my C about it Friday, too.
BA, thanks for telling the story of your parents' D. With the younger two being 11 and 14, your age at the time fits right in!
Julia, I think I will take myself to lunch!
Considering the subject it was a very calm conversation. Oh, she said she thought I had made up my mind when I got the new comforter for the bed. I said no, but the bed needed something, and I didn't have a quilt. I said I didn't realize how masculine it was until I got it on the bed. That got us to talking about the quilts, and she mentioned that she had never made one for me. She has made one (at least) for each kid, and several for herself, and the walls, kids teachers, nieces, nephews, and stuff. But it looks like I won't have one. Somewhere in there I said that I would like to have one. I said I might have to commission one. She said that she would be honored to make me a quilt. All I would need to do is pick the pattern (she would get veto power), pay for the fabric, and pay for the quilting. It felt to me that she was a little bit emotional about that. I don't know.
morning friend. sorry you didnt get much sleep!! it baffles me that a comforter could mean you were ready for a divorce. but maybe thats just me! we are all here to walk this walk with you!!
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
Thinking of you Jeff....I am so amazed at the conversation last night. Movement, at last! Even if it is not the kind you would have wanted, like you said, there must be some relief at being "un-stuck"....
The comforter thing is very interesting indeed, as was the quilt conversation...
(((Jeff))) I was reading your recap of the conversation and kept tearing up over all the words of facts but void of emotion.
You've done your work and gained the strength you needed to make a change. I applaud your efforts.
I wish we could get the fairy tale ending, they run to us and wrap their arms around us and profess how much we have done for them and please stay, they will do whatever it takes..... Reality check!
Keep your eyes on the horizon.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
(((((BobbiJo)))))(((((WCW)))))(((((BG))))) You know, there really wasn't much emotion. It was a very "practical" conversation. The most emotion was probably when she said she didn't want to talk about any issues without a C, she thought she had done that already, prior to the letter. As things went on, it became obvious that she had really chosen, but she wasn't going to say it. There could still be a twist in the plot, but I would not hold my breath!
