Sometimes when I read your reflective posts I imagine smoke signals drifting in the air... trying to send a message that might never be seen.
One thing the break down of a marriage has taught me is to face my fears, listen to the little voice within and be courageous enough to voice what I feel.
What did your wife do with the kids before she started hanging out at the house?
*hugs*
I'm a Pisces like many others on this board. Maybe that's why something's fishy (in a good way!) about us.
I’m honestly kind of lonely. I miss the smell, feel and touch of a woman. But I honestly have to strength or desire to go date. My heart is elsewhere and I can’t seem to find a way to bring it back.
My ex is continuing to spend more time at the house. I’m struggling with the fact it makes the kids happy, but makes me sad. Somehow, in my little perspective, I keep thinking she is getting everything she wants. I, on the other hand, am getting nothing.
I am in the exact same place. I am betting other Pisceans are too, my BMF included. I am also lonely, I miss having someone hold my hand as I walk down the street, miss waking up along side them, miss his smell, his physical prescence.. but I too have no heart or desire to go date. I too have no strength to make myself try, although I am lonely and I can see that he is trying to make it work with someone else, rightly or wrongly.
In your case though.. your ex continues to move closer to you, which makes me wonder if she is not harbouring doubts about her decision to leave you, even if those feelings are not yet conciously owned by her...She is circling, maybe she has got whatever it was she needed to do in leaving you, out of her system and is missing what she once wanted to run from.. yet you cant 'see' her. It doesnt matter what she does, its not going to work, as your mind/heart is fixated somewhere else.
An I am sure you will say "no.. I see no love in her eyes, its all about the kids".. but I wouldnt be so sure. You didnt expect her to leave, so why would you expect her to want back? Have you considered having an honest conversation with her? Tell her you tried to win her back but finally accepted she was gone. Then you met someone else. And how you werent expecting to see MORE of her and how you are confused about her increasing apparent desire to be closer to the kids (and you?). Why not be honest hey.. what do you have to lose at this stage? Especially if you are beginning to feel resentful about it...
heart is elsewhere? recent events have forced me to question that...have i really moved on....not really as sure as i was anymore...i do know that it would be impossible for me...so i NEED to move forward.
You are getting nothing??? Your time will come my friend....your time will come!
Nothing wrong with whining once in a while.....we need positive Woog to resurface...i am sure he will soon.
Woog I am in a similar state. I am really missing having someone to hold. But I am not into shallow relationships and the one I am in hasn't even gasped it's last gasp yet so it will be ages before that happens again....dangit
And my H wants to spend as much time as possible around the kids at our house but also have his freedom, so like you I feel like he is getting to have the best of both worlds while I am....not.
Don't know the cure for that one yet buddy. I think I asked you before but doesn't she have an apartment? Has she said why she prefers to spend the time with them at your house? Just curious. In my H's case it is b/c he has nowhere to live yet, just a friend to crash with. But if she has her own place I wonder why she wants to come over so much.
Honestly I am quite sure I know what is causing my lack of zest. I guess ultimately I need to make a choice and right now I have chosen not to give up something. I'm on a hold of sorts until I chose to move on.
She is at the house because that is where the kids are. It's that simple.
OK that makes sense then. She wants to spend the time with them but doesn't have the space to do it where she lives.
I suppose it is a fine line because on one hand being the upstanding guy that you are you want your kids to spend time with their mom, and vice versa. But yet you don't want them thinking she is coming back if she isn't. And it leaves you having to find something else to do while she is there.
I guess at least the positive is the kids are seeing their mom a lot more than it seemed like they were a while back....
