Earlier today I spoke with D(almost)18 about my intention to tell W that I do not want her coming into my house any more. I told her that if she still needed that morning 'connection' with her mom I would still allow it. She said "Well Dad, we seem to fight more often in the mornings so I think it's a good idea.
About an hour later W calls me and I don't answer. She leaves a vague message about 'scheduling time with the girls'.
So I call her back.
W: D(18) said you have something to tell me about me coming to the house. She said you don't want me around any more.
Me: Ok, well she didn't speak correctly. What I said was that I think we need to continue our 'Separation' and that means you don't come here any more to spend time with them.
W: Ok, but I keep inviting them to my place but they don't ever seem to want to spend any time with me. I get the sense that they are getting negative stuff from you.
Me: No, I never talk you down, and I push them to spend time with you when I hear they have turned you down on an offer to do something. They have their own minds and can form their own opinions.
W: Well I never bad mouth you either. (me thinking: what would you say if you did?)
Me: Whatever is the issue, it's between you and the girls.
W: Well I'll keep inviting them over to my place. I was wondering if I could have them on tuesdays in addition to thursdays? Does that work for you?
Me: Of course, I always want you to spend more time with them. (which, I do)
W: Well, I invite them but they will never make a commitment to coming, and they seem like they don't like me.
Me: Sorry to hear that.
I also told her I would set it up so she could get her E-Mail via the web. I asked her to come and take her computer and she said there was 'no room' in her room. Kind of odd since her friends house is an exact duplicate of our house and both my kids have desks and computers in their rooms.
I told her I'd set up remote access to her E-Mail by the weekend. Then she has NO reason to come to my house.
W: I need the tax forms and other paperwork so I can do the loan/grant requests for D(18) for college. Remember I told you about that a few months ago?
Me: Yes, and I'll have all of that for you next week. The IRS paid me a visit and I have to get certain paperwork to them right away.
W: Oh, really? Are you ok? Is there anything I can do?
Me: (laugh) um, no, not really. (perhaps you could take responsibility?)
W: ok, well let me know if there is.
By now she is in a down / depressed tone of voice. I think it's because she realizes that her daughters just don't like her choices and she can't blame it on her husband any more. And worse, when she 'offers' to 'help' I laugh at her. I mean, what could she possibly do? Give the IRS guy a BJ? Come over and give me a backrub? Stop being an asshat?
sorry for the hijack Frank but i just saw Amy's post. I can't seem to find an active thread for you lady.... been reading your last in the prayer forum.... wow.... some pretty interesting developments!!!!! Hope all continues to improve for you. Sooooo, you going to bring us up to date anytime soon?
Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
