Should I expose him or not?

[marisol35]

I have been reading many situations here and seeing how supportive everyone is. I hope I can gain some insight on my situation from all of you....

Here it goes....

My H and I have known each other for about 18 yrs....we were high school sweethearts and had a daughter when we were 19. When she was 2yrs old he left us for someone else, married her, and had a son. They divorced about 4 yrs later and we kept in contact for my D. About 8 yrs ago we moved in together and we married just last year in Sept. It was only about 6 months into the marriage that he totally changed. This was the 1st affair with a 35yr old married woman that he knew from his past. He moved out, then back in, and we tried working things out. This was only because he didn't want to be a father to her 3 kids. Three months later he had a 2nd affair with the 21 yr old secretary at his work. This one didn't have kids and loves to have a good time (go figure). Needless to say, H moved out in August and has not been back. The OW pretty much lives in the rental with him and his son. The A has been exposed to his parents and mine. He no longer works for the company where they met but she still does. He quit....he is in real estate and is beyond broke. She has been supporting him financially but she doesn't make near enough to support him and herself. I can go on and on....

But, to my question about exposure is that throughout this whole time he has been away at least once a month he sends me text msgs that are pretty explicit (if you know what I mean). I still can access his email and from time to time when I look (which I know I shouldn't) I see how he tells her how much he loves her, wants to make a life with her, she's the one for him, bla bla bla....she's telling him about being his wife and that she will stand by him bla bla......and yet he is sending me these types of msgs.. so in other words he is "cheating" on OW. Just last night in the middle of the night he sends me graphic pics asking me to go over to his house.....I was floored...I also know he is still talking to the 1st woman he had an A with and she doesn't even know.....he continues to lie to her....

So my question is.....should I send these msgs to OW? Just as he did this to me he is doing it to her.....he is obviously not going to stop this behavior and it must be stopped. She also deserves a taste of her own medicine if you ask me...... I know he will be furious with me but I have absolutely nothing to loose.

Any thoughts would be truly appreciated....

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Yes -- absolutely. I guess is that it will bust their affair immediately.

Women are funny about stuff like that.

Puppy

[SirPrizeMe]

Marisol, just based on your description, why would you want this man?

I know he is the father of your daughter, but... has he not shown a consistent tendency to be unfaithful here?

I mean, by this time, you know who he is, you know what he is like.

[marisol35]

Thanks Puppy and SirPrizeMe for your comments...

It's not that I want him per say....it's the fact that he has done this not only to me but to other people and he has never been slapped in the face with it so to speak. He has always gotten away with it because the women involved were so "in love" with him.

The behavior and lack of respect for women needs to stop. He thinks he can just walk back into my life whenever he wants and have these women on the side and vice versa with the OW he is supposedly with right now. I actually felt sorry for him today because what he thinks is love is not love and I don't think he will ever understand or know what true love is.

[cat03]

this man is toxic, by keeping in contact and allowing him to send you such messages you are tying yourself to this looser and his emotional rollercoaster, the man is not well, and having so much info about what he's doing, who he is with and what he is up to will get to you. LET HIM GO, he's sick in the head.

I know, my soon to be ex is just like that, with his head up his arse and living for the moment without a care if he hurts anyone.

Change your cell or just tell him that you wont' be responding nor reading his texts, he's in a bad place and if you dont' watch it he'll drag you down with him. stop checking his emails, what good are you getting out of that? You don't need all that drama, it's his business who he sleeps with or not, you guys will be divorcing, cut him from your life, it is not healthy for you to involve yourself in his crazy life.

[hope3343]

{{{Marisol}}] how are you?
I would forward those text. expose expose expose.
I know you have been busy GAL and doing your own thing which is great.
We support you!

[marisol35]

cat - harsh but so true.....he is toxic. He has been toxic for me since I met him in high school. It has been nothing but a rollercoaster for me and its time for me to get off. I don't know why I look at the emails. It's not like nothing is going to change. It's a bad habit that I must get rid of.

Hope - Missed you girl! I've been reading your posts...hang in there. The holidays will soon be over and it will be a new year for all of us. Let's think about what we want to accomplish this coming year. I will be writing my goals down. Any more thoughts about Vegas??

[marisol35]

I know exposing will cause an aftermath for me but my thinking is what do I really have to loose? Absolutely nothing. He provides no support to me or to his daughter. I can provide for myself financially. He offers nothing to me. It disgusts me that he has the audacity to play games like this with people. Its time for it to end.

[cat03]

there will be a time when ALL things will come to light, God is the ultimate judge, dont' think he's going to get away with what he is doing.
Take care of your soul, ask yourself if what you are about to do will help you or make you a darker person. I have learned the VERY hard way that you HAVE to let go of a toxic person before his poison makes you sick, trust me, I too had access to emails and picts and stuff that took me months to get out of my system.

Spend more time time in rebuilding yourself, he's not worth your time.