I know the feeling of not having your kids with you. As a dad who does not have custody, that use to eat at me tremendously. It is something I have had to give over to the Lord.
As a Christian, I rest in the solace that I know that I know that I know that I know I will spend eternity with God in heaven where there is no sorrow, pain or tears (not because of anything I have done but because of what He did for me on the cross at Calvary).
My job is to do the best to raise my kids to have that same relationship with the Lord that they too will join me in heaven with God. NOTHING else matters, nothing!
If my life demonstrates, through the ups and downs, that God is real, than I have done all I can for them. If living for Him results in a life of peace, a productive life lived for others and that life creates a thirst in them to have a similar relationship with Him, than I have been successful.
Quote:
I have to firmly and consciously have to keep saying NO, STOP, when unproductive thoughts invade my brain.
The bible directs us to "take every thought captive"
Quote:
2 Corinthians 10:5 (New King James Version) casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,
In application, when a thought to be angry at my X, to dwell in sadness at my loss etc occurs, I need to take control of those thoughts and apply what I know to be true about God, is nature and His love for me. I am empowered by His Spirit to accomplish these things. Will power is not enough.
It is easy to write about this but a daily (sometimes hourly) challenge to live it out.
When it is challenging, I pray and often invite my close circle of committed prayer partners to pray more specifically for me.
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
hey c2h, i think I've finally made peace with the reason this whole mess got started,, well, I will never know when, I do know that the enemy is like a lion looking for someone to devour, I do knwo he is the main cause my M didnt' make it. I had good years, I had the best of him, when he was a loving H, a God fearing man, what he is now I don't ever want, and there are other men out there who have lots to offer -- not that I'm actively looking, but I'm lookiing up a bit more, there is life beyond what I could've have.
He isnt' worth all my energy, he is God's child too, and I know He wants him to be saved, but now I have to walk away, I'll keep all the good memories and I will stop wondring how the whole thing got started, I think I made soem progress, felt like a step backward but I think I've gained some more peace at this point, wasnt'; easy but God is filling me with his peace again.
Thanks friend))))))))))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Your perspective is much the same as mine. The difference is that my X is not in blatant sin, at least in her mind. I cannot say that she has ever come face to face with the reality that she committed adultery and is in an adulterous marriage. (Nor is it my place to question or judge her but facts are facts. We were married, she got emotionally involved with a married man, she quit our marriage and then arried 6 months after the ink was dry on the D).
I have arrived at a point of having true, deep compassion for her and her husband. It was not possible to stay in this mode with resentment popping in and out before. I believe I am healed although, I believe the enemy will tempt me to be drawn back into bitterness. I believe my sin nature (pride?) will also tempt me with a mind set of, "it was not fair, why me etc." That is where the future battle will be, I believe.
I have two close sisters at church who have indicated they are healed. What they feel for the X's who betrayed them IS compassion. It is through their declarations that healing IS possible that I cautiously declare that I am healed.
Time will tell right?
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
So glad to hear you're in a good place. That big birthday is coming up soon, isn't it? Who nows - I chase the sun - its possible I could get there to celebrate. Sure would be fun.
