Frank, as far as the papers go, you can have a divorce attorney review them and add in these things. Many of the do it yourself divorces suck, however your lawyer can easily adjust them to make sure you don't get screwed. You don't have to retain a lawyer, just pay one to make sure you are protected. It's that simple.
If you were to not reconcile with your W and moved on to another R, is your W going to come over in the morning or in the evening to make food for the kids while you have another woman in the house? That's not going to work.
Your Ws relationship with your kids will be what it will be and it probably won't be good. You will not be able to make it better. These are the consequences of her actions and she has to learn them the hard way. After you are D, your house will no longer be her house and you shouldn't have to provide your house every time she wants to be with the kids.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
Paper is just paper. No more dinners, have her cook at her house. And, speaking from a legal standpoint (I am a paralegal), if there is property involved, life insurance, yada y ada, you need a lawyer.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I have an Alpha Primer for you, you can print and put in your pocket to read whenever you want it.
"In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed."
"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. "
Do not mope or be sad, instead rage. Rage at her and yourself. But motivate yourself into action. When you walk, punish yourself, go farther cherish the discomfort.
Look in the mirror and hate the whimp reflected with watery eyes.
Chicks dig guys who can cry at a chick flick, they don't however dig guys who cry at the drop of a hat.
For the record, I was not entirely wrong, she didn't get a lawyer, and I have never said you persue a divorce, amicable? That's nice, of course she does, its easy, just like the papers she found. Well life isn't easy, too bad for her when you start proving it.
Go further today than you have before.
Tell me about your day later, and if you bring up something she did for no good reason, I'll hang up : )
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I am only going to post one thing about W because it is so bizarre. When I came home last night she was using her sewing machine to make some of these 'heating bags' for your neck, which she sells. I asked her where the girls were and D17 was in bed (9:30) and D13 was in her room.
She said that she was taking the time to make the bags. Then she said she was going to sew the ripped sheets from MY bed that I had asked her months ago if she could fix them. Our crazy old shepherd dog gets frustrated sometimes and will jump on the bed and rip them.
Anyway, I told her that I no longer felt it was appropriate and I had someone else who could fix them, got the usual 'are you sure?' and said 'yes'.
She got the clue that she needed to leave and packed up her sewing machine and left.
This morning when I got up after she had come and gone, I noticed that she left a 'Phillips 76' gas station credit card with my name on it on the counter. We've had that card for years, it's in HER name only and I'm just an add on so they send two cards when it renews. I destroyed mine months ago. So here she tells me we're going to start the divorce process, but gives me her gas card. What a whack job.
Today IS the first day of the rest of my life without her BS. I failed to change this past year, or to change ENOUGH to make MY life better.
Yeah, I AM an Alpha male. I AM a leader. I always have been. Ask anyone who has known me personally for the past 20 years and they'll tell you that THIS Frank is not the real Frank.
