WAW - Possible MLC I need help, WAWs advice III

[LonelyD]

Other post locked. Weekend was good, jamboree was cancelled due to snow yesterday. Went to church again and same thing happened from last week. Don't know why I emotionally breakdown when I leave church.

Called W and told her to transfer the money to joint account for car insurance. Notified insurance agent and emailed contact info to W. told her to contact the agent directly to set up her own policy, I cannot afford to pay it or chase her every month.

I have also told her to look into her health insurance throught where she works again. My policy premum will be going up and the difference between the family and the two person policy is $55 a week. told her I cannot afford to pay it with additional income coming in anymore. Also noted that since we are no longer together I should not have to pay for her health insurance. I am getting the legal advice on this as well.

[dday101798]

I have also told her to look into her health insurance throught where she works again. My policy premum will be going up and the difference between the family and the two person policy is $55 a week. told her I cannot afford to pay it with additional income coming in anymore. Also noted that since we are no longer together I should not have to pay for her health insurance. I am getting the legal advice on this as well.

Good luck with that one, I've been asking mine to get her own since she left in July. According to my provider, the only way to get her off mine is either she gets hers and provides a statement of benefits for me to submit, or a official divorce decree.

My W says why should she have to get her own when she has mine? Also, now it's her form of 'child supprt' until she receives a official payment. Yeha, love getting her Ob/Gyne bills for her paps and depo shot for her to relations with OM.

Eh well, January 1st my company is switching providers, guess who isn't getting a card?

[LonelyD]

Yeah, Mass laws have just changed and I think it will be literally impossible to drop her unless she gets her own. I am kinda pushing it on her to do. I had mentioned it to her before and her text reply was that as long as we are married she should be on the family plan. My response was simeple "Married?!"

Same here, we will be getting new health insurance cards, I will not be giving her one. Hoping to hear from my lawyer someime this week on this. I just don't understadn if I am not getting any benefit of being "Married" to her, why should she get any benefit seeing is how she walked ouit and she is with OP.? None of this makes sense...

[AmyC]

In all these years after everything I did and the hard financial times he's been through, my husband has never even so much as threatened to take me off his insurance. He could have kicked my son off too technically, since he not his bio-dad.

He never did either.

And I would not have even protested although we've never divorced.

I just found out recently and purely by accident that each week more than $100 is taken from his check just to cover me and S16.

For 2 years we've been legally separated yet he still never said a word.

And he never canceled us.

Search your heart, LD.

My guess is you aren't doing this for the 55 bucks you'd save.

If things were that tight for you you couldn't afford those dance lessons you go to every week among other things.

I think you're being vindictive.

But that's certainly your choice.

[LonelyD]

AmyC you know me by now. Do you honestly think I am going to do that to her? Absolutely not. I need to keep the reality if front of her, that's all. There is an increase, i know I am going to eat. Dance Lessons are $7.

She neds to know that there is an increase and that it is a burden to me. Remeber, she is the one skipping along with the OM without a care in the world. She spends money she owes for her car insurance and spends it onherself and going out. I do not get to go outy every wekend and every thursday night partying. I have responsiblities and bills to pay.

No I am not being vindictive, but she needs to have this reality kept in front of her. She needs to know that when it ends, it all ends. Again, you have told me she is not rational right now, I am the responsible one right now, she is not. I can't have her keep calling my house form his mother's house or his cell phone, it is a slap in the face and it is rubbing salt into and already gangrenous wound.

The car insurnace needs to get done so that my contact with her goes to absolute zero. She does not know me, nor do I know her. She has no presence in my house or my life. I am fighting for that to come back, I really am, but if she doesn't see an occassional dose of reality, what chance do I have?

[AmyC]

I think the car insurance issue is valid just not the health insurance.

[LonelyD]

AmyC not sure if you saw my last post in the closed part II about the Celtic Cross I bought saturday in boston. /it was very strange, but I am believing it absolutely is a sign. Like I said, maybe He is sending me signs I can't see. I need something more tangible. Well I got it Saturday. Got goosebumps when I read the back of it.

In a nutshell, I told you how i was planning on taking my D17 into boston so we could do something together outside of the house. I made these plans based on the incident of 2 Sunday nights ago (last week). We got into town, walked around a little bit before I noticed the Irish cart in the marketplace. thinkingof my older D who wanted a Celtic Cross necklace, we went in. I looked at all the crosses and kept coming back to the "knotted" cross. Told my D17 I liked it and she said then buy it. I hemmed and hawed bout not buyng myself things, feel awkward spending money on myself. Then she said, what does it say on the back. I joked and said probably made in china. I put my glasses on and the word "STRENGTH" was written on the back of the cross. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I couldn't believe it. Here I was a week before complaining I am not getting any signs about what to do where I should go or anything. Now I am locking at a cross that fascinated me with the insription "STRENGTH" on the back. Yeah its a sign.

My strength lately comes from my darkness, not sure if that sounds strange, but it does. I want her back, I want my marriage, I want us to be together. My only concern as I am dark, she seems to be getting stronger with OM. By all my learnings and readings, this is not good. It appears being dark is definitely having the opposite affect on her. I know mostly it works for situations where OP are not involved, so I am wonering if anyone has any advice.

[LonelyD]

Just had the health insurance meeting. We now have a large deductible that has to be met. I emailed her and said I will be responsible for the insurance premium, however, until the deductible is met she will have to pay for her prescritions and any medical outside of preventative or wellness care. Which I think is reasonable. Before we had co=pays for all of this, that no longer exists. So if she has $100 worth of prescriptions each month, she will have to pay the $100 a motnth until the deductible is satisfied.

I also told her I have to put in the beneficiaries for my insurance. Law requires that if it is not the spouse, then she has to sign a document and have it notarized. I need this done by Wednesday. I will change the beneficiaries to my kids. again, I do not think this is an unreasonable request.

I am taking care of the plan.

[LonelyD]

I feel bad about everything going on today, but it is what it is. I am opening an account to help offset some of the deductible costs for me and my D17. Depending on what situations arise, I may be able to assist her as well. she did give me my money for the car insurance, but has not responded to my emails regarding gettting her own policy and the health insurace changeover. My D17 says she was going through her emials while she was there picking up D17. She may be ignoring my emails thinking they re begging her to come home emails. I will have to call her and ask to read them, that they are important.

I think the changing beneficiaries request may strike a chord. then again, maybe it won't. I am not going to worry about it.

Busy week planned, got two projects I am hoping to get done. Going out dancing this Friday and staying over a friends. Xmas party all day satruday. I won't stay overnight because I don't want to leave D17 home alone and have a rave at my house, LOL. I'm sure I'll be ready for some rest after Friday night and all day Saturday. Sunday I hope to finish the projects after church and the Gym. Have a couple of people coming over to watch the game. So I have all that to look forward to. I am going to try and et all my Xmas shopping done this week at night. I am going to meet with a friend of mine tomorrow night to see some furniture he is giving away and to just hang for a while, grab some food and shoot the breeze. I'll take Wednesday night and go shopping, then go to the gym, same with thursday night if i don't get it all done Wednesday.

I want to callt hepriest and try to see him after mass on Sunday to figure out why I get that way after church. One time was bad enough but I was a bawiling mental case yesterday. I don't know why...

[dday101798]

In all these years after everything I did and the hard financial times he's been through, my husband has never even so much as threatened to take me off his insurance.

Let me just say, if there were no OM in my sitch and just my WAW going through a MLC, fine, whatever, I would encourage her to use the insurance to her advantage and get through what it is that needs to be 'gotten' through. BUT, when it's being used to ensure your WAS is in tip top form for realtions with someone else and hasn't gotten pregnant yet, THAT is a whole different ball game Amy.