Thanks. I had been thinking about this before. In the past, when H emails, I would reply, then he would reply and then I would reply. It always ended with me.
I see this as the same as ending the conversation first, I guess.
{{Beth}} I think you are RIGHT ON my friend..you are right..it's like ending a convo first..I'm glad he responded back to you..that was a very respectful thing for him to do..and good for you and your 180
Hope your day is good my friend!
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Thanks! I am glad he responded, too. I was rereading the DR last night and will simply take that as a small positive result from my actions.
I do not think much will or will not come from my refarining from emailing in resopnse.
I will admit I have been struggling today to try to keep busy enough to not wonder about the doctor's appointment, did he go, what happened, will this change anything. Fruitless, I know but there you have it. I am a work in progress.
Looking forward to my coaching session to develop my next plan of action.
How are you? Well, this weekend, I have an appointment with my hair stylist. Maybe time for yet another change. I also have another riding lesson. More trotting, which means more bruising, but it really is thrilling to ride a horse without holding on as he runs in circles.
I will also get in a couple of runs and two good workouts.
Beth I am glad he email you back. New hair style....how about dye to red and green so it will match up the Christmas sweeter..LOL Yes, I am that dude will NEVER understand women. Anyway, you are doing real good. You did your part, and leave H with the hands of the professional. Keep us posted.
NW626
Me:33 STBXW:38 S:3 It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you fight the fight....!!
Green and red??? I would look like the Grinch. I hope it never comes to this but, I may actually have to go out there and attract a man and I do not think that'll happen with green and red hair. ;).
As for H, I am back on the detachment plan. Trying to keep busy so as not to speculate about the doctor visit. It really is none of my business.
I think there are some similarities with our sitches (and you're a lawyer too, I believe!). I've tried to start my own thread but can't figure it out yet...
I'm trying to detach after GALing and PMAing for months. My h has noticed the changes in me, but his feelings "just aren't there". I don't think he's depressed but there are other MLC signs (the self-absorption and self-focus).
I'm trying the LRT and working on detaching... it's going much faster now after the GALing, etc., for so long. I think that maybe the LRT takes even longer for them to respond to or notice, if at all. As the detaching progresses I'm noticing that I feel better every day. So much better that I can even contemplate (although can't yet see) the day when possibly if he came back, I'd have to think a potential recon through again. Who knows? I'm not there yet but there's some value in contemplating all the possibilities.
Detaching is the one thing that is making my "acting as if" not only possible but real. It feels good when it happens... like I am at least sometimes back in control of myself.
I'm not initiating any contact, none. I will do so only in an emergency. Mail and telephone messages get forwarded in a business-like manner... just like I would do at the office. If he initiates contact, I am warm and friendly, but detached. I try to end all contacts first. I always have someplace to go, something to do... and yes, I've lied about that at times. I feel better telling those tiny lies and they are nothing compared to his biggies which I apparently lived through for quite awhile (long-term EA)!
Letting go for me includes the process of accepting that this may not work out.... that I don't have control over this. The dbing is becoming something that I am doing for me. It may have the collateral benefit of restoring the M. I couldn't get that when I first read the books, but I see what MWD means now.
If I've made this sound easy, it's not. It's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, and it still hurts like hell most days (and nights).
We'll all get through this and be better for it. Thanks to everyone who posts here. You're all helping me through this difficult passage.
