I have been thinking and reflecting very much over the past two weeks and wanted to let you know what is going on my world - which has come full circle.
Four years ago August 27th I found out my H was having an affair. I was lost, confused, rejected, depressed and I thought my world would never be the same. Little did I know I was right.
Mid-life crisis is a funny thing. It can sneak up on you at any time, prompted by any event and can vanish as quickly as it appeared. It was this term "mid-life crisis" that actually brought me to this forum so I will be eternally grateful for that, as well. I have journaled my story so I can see where I have been and how far I have come. It's an interesting thing, this mid-life crisis.
Now, we know that tragedy can prompt this sudden swing in personality, a sudden need to redefine who you are when you start to recognize your own mortality. Well, my guy and I have been through the ultimate test over the past few weeks and I wanted to share the outcome.
Sadly, my guy's dad passed away two weeks ago. It was a sudden and tragic loss for us all and we are all still healing. Most of all, my guy is doing the best he can with the loss of his hero. How he was going to deal with this loss, I have to admit, scared me a bit since I have seen sudden turns and twists with my ex after his dad died. Thus, it has been interesting to witness the other side of the coin. And, it does have a happy ending despite the sad circumstances that prompted the event.
We attended the wake and the funeral and had a wedding this past weekend to attend as well. My cousin was getting married and his mom (my aunt) was sick so we all wanted to go see her for the last time. She had pancreatic cancer. Sadly, she passed away within 24 hours of my guy's dad's death. It was terrible. However, we thought it was more important than ever to attend my cousin's wedding..It was a week after his mom died and we needed to be there. So, in a span of a week and a half, we lost his dad, my aunt, attended a wake, funeral and a wedding.
We went to the wedding in Florida and it was wonderful. My parents were there..we danced..we celebrated life and I noticed that my guy seemed more intense..more aware..more thankful..and dare I say it..more in love..
So, the end of the story is that he proposed to me last Sunday. He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. It was a surprise as I thought he was still sad about his dad. I thought he would run like my ex did after dealing with tragedy. Instead, he ran the OTHER way..to me.
Now, the moral of the story is..have faith that one day your life will get better. Know that their are happy endings out there. And most of all, never lose sight of what is important - being true to yourself and opening up your heart again.
So, four year later I am engaged.
That is the end to my story. I just wanted to let you all know what has been going on in my world. And it has truly been..
MTN! Congrats!!! Love reading this! How wonderful and you are right, I too got hit w/ the bomb 6 yrs ago, went kicking and screaming to D court, thought I'd never be happy again and now, I am engaged to a wonderful man! Hes amazing! and ex? he has just left OW#2, looking for love in all the wrong places.
Whether your M is restored or you have to move on and by doing so, find happiness again, Everyone deserves to be happy!
Congrats again!
Last edited by KarenMarieS; 12/05/0806:18 AM.
Be Happy for this Moment, This Moment is your Life
MTN, First, my condolences and second, congratulations. Not every person will go into crisis after a death and it just goes to show that your guy was mature enough to handle the death in a way that did not require him running and acting out. That says a lot about how he was raised and loved in his childhood home.
You fought the battle and you may not have saved your marriage, but look at you now! You've come such a long way and have so much to show for all of the hard work. I'm very, very proud of you.
Wishing you and your family a wonderful life. May the holidays be extra special for you!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
MTN! Wow. You have had quite a lot on your plate the last few weeks. So sorry to hear of your losses. Sounds like you and your guy handled it all very well.
Congrats on your engagement. After all you have been through, who would have believed that you could have come so far and found so much happiness...all in 4 years time. I wish you well. Thanks for coming back with the very happy update. Don't be a stranger.
Hugs, Spitty
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
Condolences and congratulations from me too. I am happy to read your story,yes life goes on for most of us and we learn to live and love again. Not the end of your story though, another chapter perhaps. So glad you have found a person who understands that life is a continuous circle and all that it entails. Love, loss, births deaths and always a new page to be written. God Bless you all.
