(The end result was that the back of my Durango, with the 3rd seat down, was filled with donations to my church. I mentioned this to H and I could literally hear the shock in his voice. He asked why I was doing it. Told him I was scaling down and simplifying my life, so I could have the time to do the things I want to do.)
Strong, as one who has been the criminal in all this, these are the types of things that brought me around. I must say watching her move on and become stronger drew me closer to my conclusion I wanted to be wit hher. She was starting to get rid of me, not depending on me. She was erasing me. I collect Sports stuff. I came in one day and a bunch was boxed up. She called me and told me to come and finally get everything out of the closet. Looking at some of my clothes was not healthy for her. It got me to look at things.
I am going to handwrite it and stick it in one of the boxes i have to send him for the holidays. Them, I will not send anymore boxes, etc. I am not telling him that, but it will become obvious very quickly.
I feel almost bad about it--kind of like sending a Dear John letter, but this limbo is ridiculous.
You guys no me and my convictions well enough to know that I am not going anywhere any time soon. But, it is time, as Phoenix said, for DH to begin to think that the door is starting to swing closed.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
(The end result was that the back of my Durango, with the 3rd seat down, was filled with donations to my church. I mentioned this to H and I could literally hear the shock in his voice. He asked why I was doing it. Told him I was scaling down and simplifying my life, so I could have the time to do the things I want to do.)
Strong, as one who has been the criminal in all this, these are the types of things that brought me around. I must say watching her move on and become stronger drew me closer to my conclusion I wanted to be wit hher. She was starting to get rid of me, not depending on me. She was erasing me. I collect Sports stuff. I came in one day and a bunch was boxed up. She called me and told me to come and finally get everything out of the closet. Looking at some of my clothes was not healthy for her. It got me to look at things.
Mac--
Well, I am hoping that DH comes to his senses before I get to the point that your W is. Honestly though, my religious convictions, coupled with the deep love i have for my husband, will not allow me to walk away without giving him a second chance when he finally asks for it.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
After eight months that is what my wife did to me and I could not handle it and look at me today. I am begging her to allow me another chance. the grass is not greener on the other side. Sometimes it takes a lot to come to that conclusion but it isnt. I watched the young familes in the mall and in retauraunts. The Father with his kids, holding their wifes hand, tending the children while Mom shopped or finished her meal. Light kisses on the check before sperating into two directions each with a child in tow. It broke my heart to think I had ruined this.
Box up more of his stuff I would say. Drop a hint that it is being stored in the garage or something. In the end I think that it can't hurt. I mean it can only do two things. Either spark him back to reality or allow you to move forward. For sure my wife she had t oget memories of me out of her view.
I am very appreciative of the people on this site and the advice I am getting. I am so glad that I chose to come here. I have been very weak and I know I have been approaching my situation all wrong.
(((SMW))) Good for you. I had to do this very thing last night/this morning for myself and its going to be so hard. Limbo sucks as a dance but not nearly as much as a lifestyle.
Stay strong. ((hugs))
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
{{{SMW}}} LOVE the name change..I told you so on another thread..but woot woot..it rocks and so do you!! You go "strong woman"!
Hey SouthSide..you can go to a site called biblegateway and you can read like 50,000 versions of the Bible (well there are a LOT of versions anyway LOL)
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
I think I know how you feel. I too feel like I am coming to a point where I can really "detach". It's scary and I too feel a little guilty (go figure) but we have to! I know I will never feel for anyone like I do for my H, but I almost look at the alien that comes out of him as a demon that has overtaken him. I find myself crying less and just walking away from his BS. I don't want to "engage" anymore.
We deserve better!
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
Instead, while cleaning the older girls' bathroom (yuck! I never knew girls could be so gross!) I have been mulling over how to word the letter to H that Phoenix is suggesting.
Is it okay to mention in the letter that "In spending time with some new friends, I have discovered that I am more than just a Navy wife, more than a mom. I am a strong, confident beautiful woman who deserves to be treated with love and respect. I am making changes in my life and the house that are allowing me the time to better explore who Laura is, outside of the roles I have lived in for the past 17 years."
SMW
Hiya lovely, strong sis
Outstanding on the short simple letter I think. I almost don't feel as though I could have done better myself
Keep journeying with Christ our Lord and Savior. Oh the scenery ...
