Whatdidido input from last thread Yes, depression always occurs during withdrawal. She sees her life as horrible right now. She's thinking, "What am I going to do? I don't love my H, and I have a child with him. This is NOT what I thought my life would be like." All foggy thinking because she went outside of the marriage to deal with marital issues.
Scared talk- Can you tell me more of the conversation? What was being talked about before she said that and what was said after?
My response about the scared talk... She and I had a argument. It was all based on a small mis-understanding when we went to a Christmas tree farm. She and D7 left to go out to the trees without me. It was rude and a great passive aggressive gotcha on her part. I told her that because I don't trust her right now even small issues become large ones. She told me she could not take the pressure right now and wanted to move out of the house. She then told me she was scared of me. That does not make sense...I don't even raise my voice. I told her that I have always taken care of her and have never threatened her in any way.
Other thoughts....what she is doing right now (what you don't know about) is so bad that she is afraid how you would react (scared of how you would react).
Or, the OM taints her thoughts. She could be sharing how she feels, and he validates those feelings and says you are awful. She says she is scared of how you will react to a divorce and what you will do. He says, "No one should be scared of their spouse." She takes that, twists it into "you scare her".
I wouldn't worry about the "scare" statement unless you aren't telling us something. I'm only going by what you say. You seem like a spiritual, sensitive man. But, you ARE just typing to us. You could be some physically and emotionally abusive husband, and if that is the case then being scared of you fits. If not, she is most likely deflecting as Puppy says.
Wdid, I am doing my best to take care of her and D7. I am not abusive and have been relatively low key during all of this considering what she is doing.
I just found another phone number on our cell phone bill that she was texting to from her room at night. Hundreds of text messages to a pre-paid cell phone. This number is not either of the other two men's cell numbers.
I am a little naive about what you say in this much messaging. Her phone is a standard phone with a 10 digit keypad...it must be tough to write this much out???
The new phone number is a pre-paid from the OM I thought she was involved with.
She just left the house and said she needed to make a phone call. I hardly said anything to her...just asked why she needed to go to her office this late.
I am a little naive about what you say in this much messaging. Her phone is a standard phone with a 10 digit keypad...it must be tough to write this much out???
Hi JWM, In regards to this, cell phones can be set up usually to suggest words based on the keys hit. So it can actually make texting pretty easy.
Hugs to you and keep taking care of that little girl!
It is never easy reaching for dreams... but those who reach walk in stardust.
~Broken~ ------------------------------------------------- Both 28 S-7 T-9/M-5 Sep 3-19-08 Bomb May 08
I think the MC must have gotten her to think about M.
W came back and wanted to talk to me about the R. I told her that she needed to stop communicating/seeing the OM or that we could not have any relationship. That I do believe that she is in a PA. That this adultery is hurtful to me, to D7, and to our family. If she continued I would do everything I could to prevent her daughter from seeing her mother dis-respect herself by living with OM. That was not the example I wanted for D.
I said our marriage could be saved and that we owe it to each other and to D7 to try. She said there is no love between us. I said all marriages go through this and that love could be rebuilt. I would take responsibility for the problems I caused but she contributed to the M problems too.
W claims she has not contacted OM since I confronted her with it. I told her I don't believe her.
I clearly set the boundaries. She can decide what she wants to do.
