For the Guy with Kids and a WW Twenty One

[hopeful4her]

Here is number 20.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1655979&page=1&fpart=1


Puppy and Beej's last posts.

H4H,

Sometimes people think I'm being "mean." Well, sometimes being "nice" doesn't end up being so nice, for ANYONE, kwim??

Puppy

Remember, as you make the decision to pull back for you and for your kids, that the hope is still there. Pulling back does not mean giving up.

She read your email and didn't write back or respond to it. If she wanted you to think that it was over, she most DEFINITELY would have written back to you stating so.

It's not over.

Pup, I don't see it as mean. You just calls it likes you sees it. I appreciate that. Then some sitch's are able to pull at your heart strings. I think mine is one of them.

Beej, maybe my wife is just retarded. I pray that what you see are good signs that there is still more than some kind of possibility, however I'm not going to try to read anything she does anymore. I keep doing it and doing it and I just keep ending up in the same place. Everyone knows that she should have made some big steps to me this past 30 days. I have shown her a lot of who I am and what she means to me, yet the vicious cycle continues.

What I felt in church and then to see the hurt in my little D7. I feel like it's my fault for her to feel like she does. I know its not true, but thats what it feels like. If I could just leave the wife to herself and only worry about me and not spend so much time together as a family, D7 wouldn't be so confused.

I'll let OM deal with the wife. And God. Good luck to them both.

No contact with the wife today. She called this morning and the girls were still getting ready, so we didn't answer. She left a message and called right back. She talked to the girls and then they hung up. On my way to work, I missed her car pull onto the same road as me as I caught a light behind one vehicle. She had just left off S14 at school and I wouldn't be able to catch her by the time she got onto the loop.

I went to pick up D11 first today at the apartment then we went to get D7. That way, I know we aren't caught at the apartment with the girls wasting time on this or that. D11 did talk to her mom about 30 minutes before I got there and the wife told her that she would call when she got home.

We had another Thanksgiving dinner tonight. Need to finish those leftovers. The wife called at about 7:45 while we were watching 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town' on tv. No one wanted to get the phone, so it went to VM again. I tell D7 to go get the phone. I call the wife for her and they talk for a bit. I hear D7 say something about, "I know. He picked up Amanda first."

They hang up and we finish our show and then to bed later.

Afterwards, I listened to the VM. Something like, "Hey guys, just wanted to tell ya'll I got home from work. Roger(her voice changed to serious), could you please have the girls call me. Talk to you later." She was supposed to get off at about 5:30. It was 7:45 when she called.

I love my kids. I love the wife too, but gonna have to put my version of Tough Love to work.

I bet everyone is taking bets as to how long I can keep it going.

[whatdidido]

You can keep this going this time. I can feel it. Be careful about those phone calls. She's trying to get her "time with the kids" on the phone so it makes it all better. It's ok if you "miss the calls accidentally" because you guys were so busy having fun at the house doing family stuff. You will also have to not call when it is her turn as well. 50/50. Show her what that means.

Hope doesn't mean that you change your behavior, hope means that you are waiting for her to change her behavior. Keep praying as well. I just prayed for you. I asked God to give you patience and strength as you focus on you and the kids and to keep you away from parasites. I also asked God to help encourage your wife to open her eyes the way he opened mine.

Have a good day. ((((h4h))))

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I bet everyone is taking bets as to how long I can keep it going.

My money's on H4H.

Puppy

[Sugar and Spice]

You are a strong man and you know what the right thing to do it, so my bet is you will succeed.

[karen43]

I 100% think you can succeed if you want to. Karen

[marriedCrazy]

You can do it!!!

I have faith in you bro.

Rock ON

[garry1969]

Win the little individiual battles and forget about the war.One battle at a time.
You will realize how time passes and with each battle you get stronger and stronger
Not a betting man but I know God has touched your heart and gave you the strength to do this

[kat727]

I'm betting with you. You can do this and you will come here when things get hard. I have to work on GAL better and we can challenge each other in that department. Keep believing in you and your girls and you will do fine.

kat

[hopeful4her]

Thanks guys. I always know where I can get support.

This morning, I had to call the wife. D11 could not find her Social Studies binder as she was practically out the door. I told I'd keep looking and if I found it, I would get it to her at school. I called the wife after I checked around and checked the Explorer. She started to look around. She kept me on the phone while she looked around. No sign of it. I told her I'll keep checking around the house. We tell each other that we'll talk to each other later and hang up.

I go to pick up the girls after work and also call S14. I had to make several calls before he answered. Turns out that his soccer try out was today and he didn't make the team. He'll try out for track later in the year. I tell him that I just picked up the girls and I'll head over to the school to pick him up too. When I pick him up, he tells me that he has to do a lot of computer work and printing for a project tomorrow. I need ink for my printer, so we decide that I'll take him to his grandparents house to do it and I'll make sure his mom can get him or his dad can take him to the apartment.

He'll just stay with his mom tonight instead of coming home with us. While he gets a few things from the apartment first, I call the wife's cell with no answer. I don't leave a VM. As I get him to his grandfathers house, he tells me that his mom called while he was in the apartment and had asked if the girls were still there. He told her what we were doing. I figure, good, I don't need to talk to her.

On the way home, the wife calls me back just before 6:30. She is calling from her work. I tell D11 to answer it. She talks a little and says, "No. I didn't. I think he did. Okay. Bye."

Then she hands me the phone. I look at her confused.
"Here! HERE! She wants to TALK to you!"
I'm smiling at her now.
I take the phone and say hello.

"Hey. I'm still at work. You called?"
"I was letting you know that I was going to take S14 to his grandparents, but I know he told you already."
"Yeah, I called him at the apartment. I told him that I'll call him when I get out to see if he's ready or his dad can take him."

I started to get drawn in. Already.

"Have his dad take him. It's kinda late, huh?" I ask her.
"Yeah. I'll be here until 7 and then I have training tomorrow. We were swamped today."
"Well, I just left him off and were heading home."
"Okay. Tell the girls I'll call them when I get off. They forgot to call me last night."

Yeah, now she knows what it feels like.

"Alright, well, be careful going home" I tell her.
"Okay. I'll call later when I get home."

"Bye" and I hang up. I notice that when I hung up, my brow was furled. After I hung up, the tension eased. It was a funny observation.

Got home, got dinner ready and served up. Helped D7 with a project and then fought with her a little. She is one stubborn little kid. Just like her mother and father. Mom is stubborn and I'm bullheaded.

The wife hasn't called yet. I was thinking of telling her, if she called earlier,
"I can go pick up S14 if you had plans. I can have him here with us." Like, sorry to mess up your plans if someone ELSE was going to spend the night.

But I'm just not good at snarky. Mean snarky, that is. At least, not with her. Like, I would have to be REALLY pissed. I find that odd. Fun sarcasm, I'm great at. To be mean, not so much.

But she's not going to call like she said she was, anyway.
Besides, the less conversation, the better.

I just got D11 to bed. She was fighting with me to keep me from watching the Victoria Secret Special on tv. Trying to cover my head with a blanket and covering my eyes with her hands. We were having fun.

Those girls are not my type anyway. I like women with some meat on their bones. They are HOT, but not my type.

Hey, instead of everyone betting on me, how about if I just try to cover the over/under?

Better odds, don'tcha think?

[InLikeFlynn]

I think at this point your are going to have to spot us some points!!!