I am currently @ a very mild impasse between myself and my darling. We had spent quite a bit of time with each other both in the sack and otherwise just this past week Surely the most memorable comment that was made by her during that time together was "I now know that I am meant to spend my entire life with you". Sweetness to my ears indeed but putting actions to those words has been a little off on her part. My patience (which I personally have always considered to be a real strong point of mine)tends to get severely whittled away especially when she puts herself out there making comments about us spending time together on such and such day and then she does not seem to put much effort in 'protecting' that proposed together time. There seems to be a pattern there and it is one that I am getting kinda ticked about. I have been much better at not just internalizing these objections that I have to the way I am made to feel by her actions and/or inactions.
So we last spent time together on Wednesday. Then Thanksgiving day was half good-half not so good. Everything has been so topsy-turvy (i guess i will call it) due to my parents successive relocations over the last month or so. The latest and final relocation for them was on T-giving eve which spilled over into the first half of the holiday itself. How wonderful it is being the only one of the three kids that lives on the East Coast. I was forced to pick up the slack for my brother ...don't even want to begin to head down that path ..NG. So my week before T-giving plan was that I would drive out to my P's and lend an assist as needed to help them get minimally settled into their new quarters and then I would eat a makeshift T-giving dinner w/ them at their place. As we got nearer to the day itself I kinda decided to nix that idea of eating the holiday meal in the retirement village (ok ..ole' farts home)dining room. So I went to their place just to help them put the finishing touches (sort of) on their move and then I had invited them to come back to my apartment to eat the meal I had picked up and to spend the night. My darling mentioned to me that her T-giving plans were that she would only be remaining at the place she now calls home just to put in the requisite family time with her, her D & her ex (whose place she has been residing at for the last 4-5 months). And she commented that her D19 would probably bail in quick fashion long before anyone even gave thought to post meal dish clean up, etc. ...imagine that! So she said that as soon as her D headed off to tend to her own life that she would come over and spend some holiday time with me. Well let's just say that actions fell short of the spoken words on that one. Oh well. Then as a part of the apology on Thursday night she proceeded to continue to extend herself w/ more commited sounding words by assuring me that she would see me on 'black' Friday (and she surely is not a shopper @ all). She was invisible on that day as well and chose not to call either. She was off from work and I had to fly that night. So when 11PM Fri rolled around and I did not hear from her (let alone see her), I gave her a 'ring'. She answered and all seemed well with her as if no mention of her spending the 'us' time had ever been agreed to. Instead she had just wrapped up partying with some friends (presumably work friends as she doesn't really do the social scene at all). It just so happens that her boss is the one who she became fond of (i guess) and had started down the EA road with back in July. So during that phone call no mention of who the friends were just that she had just wrapped up hanging out w/ them and was presumably spending the night in the town where the party was since she did not have a desigD. So she offhandedly offered for me to come be with her wherever the heck she was as she was missing me .. (but could not call to give me any of this stuff ..i had to find out on my own) I did not blow a gasket or nothing. I instead just told her that unlike her I would have to get up for work super early the next morning and so I would not feel like making the long drive to spen d the night and then the real long drive to work w/ little or no sleep. Then I lightly shared some of the aggravation that I was feeling by telling her to keep on having a great time w/ her "friends" and that I would see her whenever.
Those are the current 'fly on the wall' details from my corner of the world. No contact with her today (which was disheartening). I chose not to call her even if it meant that we were both twittling our thumbs waiting for the other to be the one to call and 'break the ice'. That could very well have been the case. It just didn't feel right and kinda still doesn't. I very definetely own a fear of rejection and it suffered some substantial battle damage when things became "final" (haha) with her earthly attempt de-husbanding me.
If you have any insight, comments, jokes (especially them) please pass em' along on here. Alright I am now officially aboard this ship (i guess I will consider my previous time to be un-official.
Now with the constant steadying wonderful assistance of the Lord I will try to navigate these new waters. Or at the very least just keep the boat afloat and not capsized.
I have no jokes right now. Since we are navigating new waters, I will let you know I have issues with keeping boats afloat, well at least small john boats for fishing. I have a tendency to stand up and falling over. Lost a few tackle boxes that way in the bottom of the pond or the stip pit.
hey tomato!! hehehe, the hen house is in an uproar lol, i am sure you noticed. thank you so much for keeping me on track. you always have the right thing to say, I appreciate it so much.
I am glad for the words, now, WE practice patience with our spouses! let them try to do the work!
HUGS my bro in the lord!
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
Hi to all my buddies. You are greatly appreciated ..all of you. Nobody seems to know any darn jokes though. Oh well ..patience, patience.
Alright well ..without getting too cloud nine-ish, perhaps this trip to the land of piecing is meant to be and just might stick. I just emerged from some wonderful together time with my darling & whatever I am doing ..I must be doing correctly. I say this because her words were - "I want you to re-marry me, we have a lot of work to do and we will for sure take our time but I feel certain that you are the one I am meant to be with. I want for you and I to grow old TOGETHER." Then lastly but no less important - "I made a big mistake (trying to push you out of my life) when my love for you is as stong as it is.
I am feeling slightly euphoric. But it is time to snap out of it. Because now the real work gets underway.
Surely the most memorable comment that was made by her during that time together was "I now know that I am meant to spend my entire life with you". Sweetness to my ears indeed but putting actions to those words has been a little off on her part. My patience (which I personally have always considered to be a real strong point of mine)tends to get severely whittled away especially when she puts herself out there making comments about us spending time together on such and such day and then she does not seem to put much effort in 'protecting' that proposed together time. There seems to be a pattern there and it is one that I am getting kinda ticked about. I have been much better at not just internalizing these objections that I have to the way I am made to feel by her actions and/or inactions.